WISE SAYINGS

1. God gave man 2 ears and 1 tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak
2. A man mayb so much of everything that he is nothing of anything
3. PLAN while others are playing.
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STUDY while others are sleeping.
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DECIDE while others are delaying.
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PREPARE while others are daydreaming.
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BEGIN while others are procrastinating.
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WORK while others are wishing.
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SAVE while others are wasting .
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LISTEN while others are talking.
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SMILE while others are frowning.
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COMMEND while others are criticizing.
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PERSIST while others are quitting.
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4. Men of quality are nt afraid of women for equality
5. Any woman is a volume if knws hw 2 read her
6. Its nt doing the thng we lyk 2 do,bt liking the thng we have 2 do,that makes lyf blessed
7. The truth of a thng is the feel of it,nt the thnk of it
8. Anythng is possible,unless its nt
9. I love u, nt only 4 wat ur,bt 4 wat am wen am with u
10. U can never tell wch way the train went by looking at the tracks
11. To fear love is 2 fear lyf,nd those who fear lyf are already 3 parts dead

X-MAS SMS

1. And so it's Christmas time

But all my dreams have already come true.

I had the best present in my life-

The day when I suddenly met u!
2. With joy in my heart

With love in my soul

I'll spend this Christmas night

￡Cause I will share it with Thou!
3. Christmas is coming

So now I keep on wishing...

I just want it forever

You and me are together.
4. Christmas is already coming

This wonderful time is for only u and me,

U voice, my Angel, is soft and charming,

Your smile is pretty, your love is a dream!
5. On this wonderful day

Let me give u my heart

I hope U won't give it away

And we'll share the love on this Christmas night.
6. When u are close, the world is full of beauty

Love and cheer!

Merry Christmas, My Dear,

and Happy New Year!
7. Miles can't separate

The feelings that we've got

For me u are more than a friend

Love is a present that cannot be bought!
8. If there is Santa Claus, I would ask him to bring u this night and to leave u for me forever!
9. My Christmas is complete

If there's a smile on your face

When your life is with happiness gilt

When you're thinking of me, my Princess!
10. Happiness is just as if it is

When you are near

My Angel, I'm eager to tell u one thing:

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
11. Let's light together our Christmas tree!

My little Bird, I'll never set u free!

VULGARIZING

1. Sex is like math: subtract the clothes, add a bed, divide legs and multiply!
2. Women are like kids - they put everything they see in their mouth...
3. Every woman should have a little secret, every man - a very big one.
4. The higher the intellect, the lower the kisses...
5. When I was born I had to make a choice: a big dick or the finest memory. I cannot remember what I chose...
6. Open your lips and close your eyes

Let my tongue do some exercises!
7. The skies are blue, the grass is green

I like your legs and what's between!
8. Do u know what people say behind your back? - Cool ass!
9. Life is like a golf - hole after hole...
10. Alcohol is extremely good for a man, especially when it's drunk by a woman...
11. It's not sex, but the lack of it that corrupts...
12. Haven't you ever thought over why little boys lick off lips and little girls suck fingers!?
13. Erotic dreams caused by your SMS every night are really cool, but I already have no clean underwear...
14. Dear, when I'm dreaming of u, I just can't do anything else, cuz at these moments i don￢t have enough blood to supply my brain...
15. My magical watch says that you don't have any underwear. You still do? Oh, probably it goes too fast.
16. U can taste me with drinking my blood and wounding my nerves...

But u know there is another way to eat me...
17. You are a shameless person, you never share your erotic dreams with me! No excuses! - I know, it's true, I dream the same!
18. Darling, use ur hands only 4 me!

For example: use them to write me a message or just to think about me!
19. I'll screw u softly

O, please, don't worry

If you are busy today,

It will happen tomorrow... :)
20. Masturbation... is not a sin, it's just sex with someone you love...
21. Never make love in a back yard or on a veranda...cuz love may be blind, but your neighbours are not :)
22. I like your style,

make-up and dress...

But most of all

I like your ass!
23. Life is like a condom - you may use it only once!
24. Often children on backseats cause accidents... and accidents on backseats cause children ;)
25. You can hardly imagine

How you inspire me with passion:)

VALENTINE'S DAY SMS

1. I love the way you kiss me

I love the way you smile

I love the way you love me...

You are my Valentine!
2. You taught me how to love

You make me feel like a dove!

My love for u will always stay!

I love u, happy Valentine's Day!
3. I wish you were my Valentine

Though I may not be yours

And I may spend my useless time

On speaking to close doors.
4. I want to tell u something

If u, of course, don't mind...

I'm asking u, I'm asking

Will u be my Valentine?
5. Night and day I think about you

Not knowing what else to do

My heart is only thine

My loving Valentine!
6. I wish you were here with me...

Your kiss, your warmth, your touch...

I wish u'd never flee,

And be my Valentine!
7. I don't need this day

To show my love and care

You know it perfectly, my may,

Such feelings're very rare...

When your eyes and your smile I see

That's Valentine￢s Day for me!
8. My love for u is unrefined,

Believe, my baby, it is true!

Please, sweety, be my Valentine!

My life is vain without u!
9. You are in my heart,

You are in my soul,

You're the only star!

I've never met better before...
10. There is so much I want to say

I want to share with u this day!

As you're my stars, as you're my world!

My life, my sky, my Valentine girl!
11. You're a part of me

We belong together

Heart longs for u as deep as sea...

Oh, be my Valentine forever!
12. Warmer than the warmest sunshine,

Tastier than the finest wine...

I'm fond of your beautiful smile,

Will u be my Valentine?
13. I love u more each minute

I guess I loved your all the time

Believe me, Dear! I really mean it!

I want to be your Valentine!
14. Today is the Valentine's Day

Even birds sing and say

How my heart longs for thine...

I love you, be my Valentine!
15. Let me call u sweetheart

Let me call u mine

Let me hear you whisper:

"Be my Valentine!"
16. On this day, filled with happiness and love,

Oh, guess, what I am dreaming of?

To bring a lot of flowers

To make a lot of gifts

To spend some happy hours

Kissing your precious lips!

Happy Valentine Day! I love you!
17. Do you know, why this world sometimes seems like a fairy tale to me?

Cuz I met you :) Happy Valentine Day, Darling!
18. Dear, I've recently realized that real happiness is to love you and see your pretty smile! Happy Valentine's Day!
19. My special Valentine Girl,

I've got something to tell u:

My love for u is becoming stronger and stronger every day! Happy Valentine's Day!
20. Today is Valentine's Day!

You may celebrate it in your own special way.

But let me admire your smile's shine

Come to my place and be my Valentine!
21. A person like you is a great gift

A friend like you is a great lift

A girl like you is a great desire...

Every day you set my heart on fire...

Please, know, I love u in every single way

Cuz today is Valentine's Day!
22. Today love is in the air

And my heart is full of love

Recalling your name and the shine of your hair,

I've place your name in the heaves above!
23. I'm thinking of u on this wonderful day,

I feel blue, I feel ill cuz you are far away...

I close my eyes and I see u, my dove

Oh, u're more than a girl and this is more than love!
24. Happy Valentine's Day,

Let the sadness fly away!

ON PARTING

1. The time we shared will always be in my heart,

Yes, we are saying "goodbye", but we'll always keep in touch...

And remember,

Just because I said "goodbye", it doesn't mean I'm gone forever...
2. The power of "goodbyes"

Brings tears to my eyes

I didn't want it all to end

But it's your wish, I won't object.
3. Goodbye's are not forever,

But it's so hard to say

I thought we'll be together

Alas! We part this day...
4. We've been together for a long time...

I can hardly believe that u are not mine

I begged and cried for u so long,

but nothing helped - we must move on!
5. I didn't think u would leave without a goodbye...

I close my eyes ask my God "why"?

So, u're gone, but u'll always be in my heart,

No matter the distance or how far apart.
6. So as I say goodbye

We are already not in love and never will be

I'm going to a place where I can be free.

Remember you'll always be in my heart

Sorry now we have to part...
7. Too helpless to smile

Too hurt to cry

I think (was it true?)

Of your last goodbye...
8. You made me realize what we had was lie,

But thank u for awesome memories

And I'm sure this is my last goodbye.
9. U had so much love in u

I wish u didn't have to go

Even though I miss u

U are in better arms I know...
10. U hardly let me breath

This is why it's so hard to say

U always have been a princess

But not for me since this day.
11. U said u loved.

U lied.

U said u cared.

U lied.

And I wish u lied that time...

Cuz for the last time u said goodbye.
12. I begged for u to stay a bit

I tried to delay the moment u leave

But u insisted... So, I cede...

Now let another person be deceived!
13. I forgot the times when we embraced,

Forgot the moments we had faced,

Forgot the love that once was true.

But I won't forget happiness brought me by u!
14. I'll try to forget the day u left,

But I'll never forget the day we met...

Please, don't forget our first kiss...

Our minutes and hours, full of bliss...
15. The time I had with you was well spent

Like an angel God sent...

The days spent with u were the most precious time

I'm sorry for this, but it's time t'say goodbye...

MISSING U

1. I want u to know

how I miss u

I want u to know

how I want t'kiss u.

I want u to to know

Plz, believe, it's true!

I want u to know

I love...I love u!
2. You are my Man, you are my King

You are my Sun so hot and bright

You are my Angel, you are my Dream

You are the Star I'm missing this night...
3. For my heart you're the one

And all my thoughts will go to u.

I'm longing for the day you'll come!

I'm missing u and hope u're too...
4. I miss u

I love u

Make my dream come true

Help me not to feel blue...

Cuz all I want is you!
5. I long for you to be here

In my arms where I'll hold u tight,

Safe and sound forever

With all my might.
6. My mind is set on one thing

I hope we'll meet very soon

But now I keep on missing u

My Darling, my Sun, my Moon!
7. I still remember the days,

When there was no rue.

I remember the days,

When the sky was blue,

These were the happiest days

For I was close to u!
8. I wonder where u are

Do u still think of me too?

U've hurt so much my heart...

I'm thinking of nothing, but of u!
9. I miss your lips

I miss your face

I miss YOU, I do miss!

Plz, send me SMS...
10. You were always here with me

You were always here by my side

I wish u'd feel, u'd see

Without u I cannot abide!
11. Love never dies if it's true

but I died when I left u!

I'm sure, u'll be always in my heart!

I'm sure, we shouldn't be apart!
12. How do I miss u?

I cannot count the ways...

How do I miss u?

It's nothing, but a terrible case...
13. I can wait for u

I can keep my love true

Without u I'm growing weaker day by day!

I wish u to come to my place and stay!
14. Love is to share life together

To build special plans just for two.

The Love like ours will last forever

When u're far away, I am missing u!
15. When I think of u a smile appears on my face

U make me feel this way just by being u!
16. In the Light of the Moon I see your lovely face...

Though you are far,

I feel your love and care.

At night while sleeping,

I hear your sweet voice calling me, luring me to you...
17. Even if an hour should go with no saying I miss u, may there never a moment without you knowing that I really do!
18. I miss you in every beat of my heart, in every breath of mine, in every moment of lonely days and nights...

Your absence causes me so much pain...
19. When I'm not with u it makes me sad

I'm missing u, Darling, so bad...
20. For U I would do anything

U are the world for me

And I will give up everything

For U will be here with me...
21. I get this feeling inside me

I wish I could tell u

My Godness, I wish u could see

My heart bleeds withot u!
22. I seem to have found a love as true as rare.

But my love is far aways from me...

It is in your hands....

LOVE SMS

1. I realized it today I will love you forever
Even if you love me never
I love you I really know,
Because it's so hard to let go.
2. Do u believe in love, lasting forever?
Do u believe in us, always together?
Tell me, tell me please. Look into my eyes.
Do u believe, do u see, I'm not like other guys?
3. You are my Angel that
I'll never be able to live without,
You are the only girl I can think about.
Baby girl I'm so happy that you stayed with me.
You promised to love me forever and that's all I need!
4. I was thinking how to say this to u...
in a poem?in a song?with a gift?
but I guess...
it doesn't have to be like that...
just to say how i feel for u
cuz I know when I say these three words to u
u won't take it lesser in its meaning,
neither will need anything
more to be said to make you understand
what I meant.
So i want o say... baby..I LOVE U
5. If I told you I loved you,
would you be surprised?
For I have lost my heart
somewhere in your eyes...
6. On my own I sometimes feel,
I love you I swear,
My heart can heal,
Y won't u just give me a chance?
7. Whenever I think of you
I'm confused, do I love you?
I guess I do
Is that how you feel too?
8. I miss you
I love you
Make my dream come true
Help me not to feel blue
All I want is you!
9. You were always there for me
Which makes it clear to see
That what I know is true;
baby I'm in love with you!
10. You are in my heart,
You are in my soul,
You are the only star
I've never met better before...
11. Today love is in the air,
And my heart is full of love,
Recalling your name and the shine of your hair,
I've placed your name in the heavens above!
12. Future holds many secrets
But I wish to hold your hand
My heart will never leave you
As my love will never end.
13. Every time I stroke your hair
Every time I see you smile
Every time, you're close, my Fair,
You make me live, you make me fly!
14. Why are u in my head?
I feel, you're a part of my soul...
Both beauty and passion you wed...
My feelings're out of control!
15. You may compare love with the sun,
shining bright
You may compare love with shooting star,
making wishes come true,
You may compare love with the weather,
Changeable and unpredictable...
But there is the one thing I'm sure of:
LOVE is like YOU. Beautiful.
16. One part of me belongs to your heart,
The other one belongs to your soul...
And I myself belong to you!
17. As long as I believe this feeling is true
As long as my heart rests with you
This is love :)
18. Sometimes it feels too good to be true
I thank the Heaven I met you...
19. I crossed many lands
I went so far away
Searching what a real love is
But I'd have better stayed...
the only thing I want to do
Is to spend the rest of life with u!
20. Flowers will die,
The sun will set
But your precious name
I will never forget!
21. I long for you to be here
In my arms where I'll hold you tight
Safe and sound forever
With all my might.
22. Your love is life
Your touch is hope
You bring me beatitude
Teach me to cope.
23. My arms are open for u,
My heart is in love with u,
I promise, I'll never leave u.
If u are gone, I'll be always here waiting for u!
24. The first time we met
you were another man
I could hardly imagine that
You would become more than a friend!
The first time we met
seems so far away,
but my love is here to stay!
25. Love is a great feeling,
Meaning hope and happiness
Meaning embracing and kissing
I want to share it with u, Goddess!
26. Your voice sounds like an angel sings
There nothing sweeter than your smile
I seem to see your snow-white wings
Your intense love makes me fly!
27. Look into your heart. What do u see?
I wonder (I hope), are u thinking of me?
28. You hold my heart
Take it all if u want.
Take my soul and take my mind...
they're so right who says that love's blind...
29. Love never dies if it's true
But I shall die if I leave u!
30. Can u feel my heart beating?
Can u ...
...hear my lips whispering?
Can u see my eyes searching u?
My little dear Angel, I want t'be close to u!
31. A kiss may mean friendship
A kiss may mean goodbye
A kiss may mean nothing
A kiss may mean "I miss u"
But a kiss from me to u
does mean that I love u!
32.If i were 2 tell u how much i love u,i'll fall short of words,if u were 2 listen a lifetime will not just be enough
33. ur beautiful as the moon,ur a golden beauty,o pretty one ur beyond compare
34.im helpless 4 my heart has chosen u,heed me,accepte ,say u luv me
35. I cnt txt u roses or fax u ma hat..id email u kises bt wed stil b apart,i value ur lv 2 me jst wish u cud c,i care 4 u so much u min da world 2 me may God blz u
36. World is against love,it gets tougher on u when u fall in love
37. love is a season that never passes
38. if u love someone just say it before its too late that the secret of stealing hearts

LOVE QUOTES & SAYINGS

1. Love is like war,

Easy to begin but hard to end.

2. It is the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it is the little differences that make them interesting.
3. The best feelings are those that

Have no words to describe them...
4. Soul meets soul on lover's lips.
5. To live is like to love -

all reason is against it,

and all healthy instinct for it.

6. One word frees us

Of all the weight and pain in life,

That word is Love!
7. The most precious possession that ever comes

To a man in this world

Is a woman's heart!

8. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature

To stop speech when words become superfluous.

9. Love is like a rumor,

Everyone talk about it,

But no one truly knows.
10. My love for you is a journey;

Starting at forever

And ending at never.
11. I only wish to be the fountain of love

From which you drink,

Every drop promising eternal passion.

12. You can give without loving,

But you cannot love without giving.

13. Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
14. Love does not die easily.

It is a living thing.

It thrives in the face

of all life's hazards,

save one - neglect.
15. What's love? Who can give answer?

Who has the mystery to guess?

The only one can secret understand

Who had a chance all these to test...
16. The most eloquent silence that of two mouths meeting in a kiss.

17. Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

18. In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.

19. Just because someone doesn't love you

In the way you want them to,

doesn't mean that they don't love you

with all they've got.

20. You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

21. Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away.

22. Love is like a bird.

Set it free...

if it's yours

it will come back...

and if it doesn't

it was never yours and never will be...
23. "I love you"-

These three simple words,

Can begin a new world,

Those three words can create a life,

but they can also be full of emptiness...

remember it

when you say "I love you".
24. Love is like wind -

You can't see it, but you can feel it.
25. Love is a bridge to the light...

Love is a bird in the flight!
26. My heart to you is given:

Oh, do give yours to me;

We'll lock them up together,

And throw away the key.

27. What's love? The fire in your eyes?

Two hearts which merge in one?

Your soul, flying in the skies?

Or of the parting bitter wine?
28. Love is an act of endless forgiveness

A tender look which becomes a habit.

29. The best and the most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.

30. The courses of true love never did run smooth.
31. But true love is a durable fire,

In mind ever burning,

Never sick, never old, never dead,

From itself never turning.

JOKING

1. The 10 main things men know about women:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10. THEY HAVE BOOBS
2.I saw something in a store display today, it was so beautiful, wonderful and adorable. I was close to buying it 4 u, but then I realized it was my own reflection.
3. I'd like to tell u the three simple words... I am hungry;)
4. I'm a killer, I kill people for money,

but u r my friend I'LL KILL YOU FOR FREE.
5. A man dies and goes to Heaven. He meets God and asks Him to answer a few questions: "Why did u make women so pretty?"- "For you would like them"-"But how come u made them so beautiful?"-"So that you would LOVE them"-"But why did you make them such airheads"-"So they would love u!"
6. One day I was eager to kill the most beautiful person alive... But suicide is a sin;)
7. Always follow my rules:

1. I'm always right

2. If I'm wrong see point 1 :)
8. Nobody is perfect. I'm nobody. Consequently, I'm perfect. :)
9. I really do hate the two words... "Don't" & "stop" unless u put them together!
10. When I'm with u, I long 4 everything and at once,

But I'm getting nothing and little by little.
11. Are u mad at me? if not, turn off your phone!
12. U are not drunk unless u are able to lay on the floor not holding on...
13. If u think that no one cares about you, miss a couple of payments!
14. I need you...

I want you...

to send a message.
15. If u are not fond of me then screw YOU

But.. if u are then screw ME... hehe :)
16. Out of my mind.

Will be back in 5 minutes.
17. I'm doing my make-up, I'll be back in a FEW HOURS.
18. Over-use of alcohol may cause a pregnancy.
19. Those deep eyes, that sexy body, such a brain, a tender lips and pretty smile...but that's enough about me, tell me how you are?
20. Do u want to come to my place for a cup of tea and some sex? No? Why, don't you like tea?
21. Urgent! It's very urgent! Call me in half an hour!
22. Forget my words of love and how I hold u tight

Forget my kisses hot - it's all just only lie,

Of course, u are a pretty man

But more I love the roasted hen!
23. If you were called sleep, I would do you in bed right now!
24. If u've met me - don't look at me

If u've looked at me - don't kiss

If u've kissed me - don't make sex

If u've sexed me - don't stop!
25. I'm so fresh, so clean and so wet...

*in the shower*
26. You have the body of god... unfortunately, it's Buddha.
27. It's important to find a man who has money, a man who will love u, a man who is a great lover. But it's much more important that these 3 men will never meet.
28. Last night i longed 4 u, i wanted u, i was eager to taste u...i wanted u to be inside me.. but i couldn't find u...oh, Tylenol!
29. I know u consider me glad

I know u consider me fine

But like every other guy

Leave the number and wait in line!
30. U broke my heart, so I'll break your jaw.
31. Girls were born so that boys wouldn't feel lonely.
32. I love u, but especially on days that end with a "y".
33. I'm going to do the best thing in bed... well the second best thing :) Sleep.
34. You are, of course, not Venus, but there is something venereal in you...
35. My dear, I'm in the kitchen "cooking"... If i do not call u back in half an hour - dial 9-1-1! Thank u ;)

HINTING AT INTIMACY

1. Don't stare at me like that - my pants are already on fire!
2. Send me a message and I'll call u back later,

Send me a SEXY message and I'll call u back sooner.
3. Save water for Noah... take a shower with me!
4. Dear, when u r close to me my sense becomes livable!
5. Hello, Darling! I've just taken a shower! you have 5 minutes to come and not to let me dress myself...
6. At this moment 1 billion people is sleeping, 1 billion is eating, and 1 billion is having sex. But I'm unable to do the first and the second cuz I want to do with you the third!
7. Sweety, if you shoot such a look at me again, my fly won't stand it!
8. Please, don't get tired - I'll need u this night...
9. Any skirt looks best of all on the back of a chair!
10. How much time and effort must a man spend for to take advantage of a women's weak moment.
11. During the day we are loved for our advantages, during the night - for our vices.
12. Sex is a Sensation caused by Passion. When a boy puts his Information in a lass's Communication. It makes rise of the Population of the next Generation. Will u take my Explanation or u still need a Demonstration?
13. Not thinking of reciprocity, always plan intimacy:)
14. I feel like a TAMPAX: in a good place, but at a bad moment...
15. Never write off a French letter!
16. Even if u touch my hand

I can simply lose my head!
17. If u are nice u may call me sweety

If you are attractive u may call me honey

If u are hot you'd better call ME!
18. Mobile sex: press 1 for normal, press 2 for oral, press 3 for anal, 4 for a trio and if u want everything... dial my number!
19. Statistics say that 3\4 of all the people in the world make up 75% of the next generation...So, why can't we join them?
20. Canes and rocks may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!
21. Decide:

Am I your guide?

Like a flame in the night

If you want me

Prepare for flight!
22. Dirty boys need to take a shower, dirty girls need to call me right now!
23. Lasses lack for feminity, but women - for virginity!
24. I can think about nothing, my May,

But about you and your dress decollete...
25. Don't u know that you would look better with a pound less... I think your clothes weight exactly a pound!
26. If I had a penny every night I dream of u... I would be rich!
27. I think, your Daddy used to be a terrorist, cuz you are a BOMB!!!

HAND-WRITTEN RHYMES

1.You are the sun in my sky

Smiling at me and making me fly

Alluring me and making me laugh

For the fist time I feel this magic true love!
2. Deeply in the shadows my whisper is loud:

"You are the only one I'm always thinking about"

Everything I need is your eyes looking down at me

Everything I wish is that you let your feelings free.
3. What's love? Eternal hope?

The arrow, piercing your breast?

In your beloved embraces moan?

Or it's a dream that won't be back?
4. One instant thought is burning in my head

When shall I see you next time, my precious friend?
5. You love me bad

You love me sad

You love me sick

And I am glad

I don't need lies

Pretending smiles

To be myself...

A good advice.
6. The language of true love is forever

That's why love never goes away

That's why, my Love, we shall part never

That's why I do want you to stay!
7. You don't care about superiority of yours,

With your Olympic pose, it is so grand,

And with your eyes, so shining and so gold

You just remain me that you are like God.
8. Memory is a strange thing

I'll always remember my school bell ring

I'll never forget my first kiss at school,

We always remember such things as a rule.

Sweet tears of joy, friendly kisses,

Lots of friends that one really misses!
9. I feel like being in a different world

When I'm with u it's all another

U're rarely different from this darkness

And if u move I'll move with u.
10. Where is the heart of night?

Lake of my dreams will take me there tonight.

There I'll see the moon light...

Sitting in shadow you'll hold me tight.
11. Could it be that I once met u

In a dream that didn't seem to be true?

For me you are more than a memory

I'll hardly find a person like you!
12. In any danger I'll be near

To save u from yourself and others

Only when u're close I feel so real

Let's get lost and stay together
13. I want to turn the pages of my mind.

I'd like to dream and then I'll feel alright.
14. I want people to live in peace.

I want the stars to grow on trees.

But it's impossible, I'm afraid

It's like to go through the closed gate.
15. I love you with every touch

You can never understand

I love you so much!

Just promise to hold my hand!
16. A simple red rose,

so soft to the touch,

is not enough to show

just how much...

I love you.
17. How tight can you hold me?

How long can we stay awake?

How hot can you kiss me?

How much our love can make?
18. When you are with me it's always summer

And ever in winter I feel warmer.
19. I wish I could describe you

You are nothing but a dream...

Making me feel lonely and blue

I feel like I could scream.
20. I hope we'll be together

And never just apart

Defeater of my loneliness

You'll never be denied.
21. I miss you so much night and day

I can hardly believe you are gone,

I thought our love is the only right way

But now I'm again alone.
22. Making love is oh, so sweet!

Lost in your mysterious eyes

Where will the passion us lead?

Will it make us fall or rise?
23. Love is...

The most wanted of my wishes

With u I got this feeling

It seems like so delicious

Sometimes it's f*ck'n thrilling.
24. Love is a splendid thing, they say,

And I believed it when I met u one day

Every moment spent with u

Makes each of my dreams come true
25. Love is a journey for two

Step by step, together we go

Love means a world of me and you

I wonder, don't you think so?
26. What's love? The poem about her?

The frequent breath when ......meeting?

The walls with declaration words?

When you in languor spend your evening?
27. What is this I'm feeling?

I have never felt it before...

I'm afraid that it may be seeming...

I'm afraid it may prove to be floor...
28. While thinking of you, the world just leaves

And I fall in the sea of my dreams

I'm writing this poem only for you

Think of me when you're feeling blue.
29. You do something with me

Though I'm not sure exactly what

It always makes me feel glee

It's something I've never got...
30. Let me hand you the key of my heart

I really don't need it any more...

I've loved you from the very start

In life's sea you're the only shore.
31. There is no more reason to lie

There is no more reason to keep it in dark

I really love you, I try

To leave in you soul the happiest mark...
32. Hiding below the surface of reality

I'm falling away in the hands of fantasy...

I hear your voice, your gentle whisper

The 24 hours I terribly miss you!
33. My days of sadness are in the past

Cuz I met my Angel at last

The Angel who took away my sorrow

And made me believe in a better tomorrow!
34. My heart is yours alone

Take it all and never give back

In your hands it'll shine like a stone

Out of them it will turn black...
35. The way I feel is inspiring and new

No words can describe our souls' close link

My heart blossoms for you

Like a fragrant flower in spring...
36. Every smile given by you

Brings me bliss and joy

Every hour spent with you

Makes my soul soar!
37. I am evil

But it's not exactly me

I'm just falling

You can help me, can't you see?

Maybe some day

I will stand for other side

Maybe one night

I'll be back inside the light.
38. Spoken words cannot express

The feeling born in my soul

No one can understand, but I confess

Without you my world￢s is not whole!
39. Look into my eyes, mysterious and blue

Can you hear my heart saying "I'm in love with you"?
40. Everytime I take a look inside u

I just can't forget what I see inside

If I only could be like u in things

That I always see in your shining eyes.
41. In every way

And every day

I know my perfect

Love will stay!

GOOD NYT SMS

1. The sun set softly

Another night have come

You breath so calmly, slowly

Your face exudes charm...
2. Looking at the stars so bright

You are always on my mind,

Looking at the Moon, I feel so blue

I'll hardly stand the night without u!
3. Open the window and see the moon light...

I know u feel sleepy, good bye and good night!
4. The stars are shining in the sky

Only the Moon is sad... So am I.

I miss u, sweetheart, I do miss.

I say "good night" and kiss your lips!
5. Do u know how t'catch a star?

You must fall asleep and it won't be so far!
6. Let this night be full of dreams

Let your dreams be full of love

I'll never stop thinking of you, oh, please,

Let me come in your dreams this night!
7. There are so many words I cannot say

I dare only wish u good night, my Fay!
8. My heart and your heart

Stay together day and night.

Have sweet dream, my dear,

I'm sorry for I'm not here...
9. I want to hold u close and tight

My faithful lady, so, good night!
10. All my thoughts are turned to u

Good night, my Baby, sweet and pure!
11. Close your eyes and fall asleep

Into delicious dreams...

In the shadows of your vision I hope, we'll meet

And I'll kiss your dear lips!
12. My love is honest to the core

Without u I hardly breathe

Each day I love u more and more

I'm sending u my goodnight kiss!
13. Look up to the stars above

They whisper "Good night, my love"!
14. I close my eyes so hard and tight

I want you to be close this night

But only I see a thin light of moon

Without u I lost the tune!
15. My heart listens to the music

of the night clouds as they whisper:

"You would love only her and you always will be!"
16. Loving u brings me so much pride

Loving you is a gift from above

Embracing u and saying "Good night"

I hope we'll meet tomorrow, my love!
17. Good night, my baby, my shining sun

You are indeed a special one!
18. Your smile is like a new day

Your eyes're like the darkest night

Without u my life is in vain

I want u to know it... good night!
19. My angel, my darling, my sometimes weary heart

You're the only one reason this sleepless night!
20. This night is so silent and quiet

You've already fallen asleep

My heart's shining like stars so bright

Cuz I'm in love with u deep!
21. What a pity! I'm not at your place!

Miles separate me from you

This night in my dreams I'll see your face

Good night, my angel, I hope you miss me too!
22. Good night, my dear girl, so beautiful and clever,

I love u not today nor tomorrow but forever!
23. I can't sleep at night

'cause I wanna be with u

Wanna have you by my side

I'll never stop dreaming of u!
24. I hear you heart allures mine

And I feel it must obey

I feel my heart calling thine

And needs it here to stay!

It's time to say good night

I wish your dreams'd not end with the light!
25. You've closed your eyes, so deep and arch...

Don't u know, someone loves u so much!

GETTING ACQUAINTED

1. Dear, doesn't your Mom need a son-in-law?
2. Let's bet 100$ that now I will invite you to spend a night with me, but you'll refuse flatly?
3. Hi! It is a Gallup poll of how to strike up an acquaintance! Choose the number of the worst variant and send it back:

1) Good afternoon! What's your name?

2) Wow, Sweety, let's have fun, shall we?

3) Hi! It is a Gallup poll...
4. Would you be against if a charming man tries to make you happy?
5. Darling, haven't you seen my white steed?
6. I noticed that you had noticed me, and I'd like to notice that I'd noticed you too.
7. I can hardly imagine what I must say for getting acquainted with you, but we'd better imagine that I've already said it!
8. Lady, I'm from the placement service. May you place me before your business?
9. Would you like me to tell you the words, which you were not told before?
10. Do you believe in love from the first sight? Or I must walk by you again?
11. Dear, does your tongue master French?
12. I remember the day, oh pretty stranger

When in my life you came

When I heard your voice, as sweet as an angel's...

Oh, tell me, what is your name?
13. Oh, forgive me my tactlessness

But your voice, your face and figure

Remind me of a princess!
14. I met u in the shadows of my heart

I met u in the sky above...

My splendid stranger, it is a shame

That I still don't know your name!
15. There is a spring in my soul

Cuz i met u today

Oh, please let me see you once more

I'm eager to know your name!
16. You remind me of a flower

So magnificent and gentle

You remind me of a fire

Which can light my soul's candle!
17. The sun is still shining

So why are u hiding?
18. Why u say hi and always go away

When I want u to stay!
19. The sun is shining

The sky is so blue

Hello, my sweet, my darling

I wonder, how are u?
20. Good afterno.. no... good morn..! evening! or no? My angel, I don't even have the slightest idea of what time it is in the Heaven now.
21. My friend, good afternoon

I hope to see u very soon!
22. Now...

Somebody is sleeping,

Somebody is laughing,

Somebody is dreaming,

Somebody is driving,

Someone is sending SMS...

What are you doing, my princess?
23. I have been missing u since the night was gone.

Hello, my baby, how are u getting on?

CLASSIC POEMS

1. But could youth last and love still breed,

Had joys no date nor age no need,

Then these delights my mind might move

To live with thee and be thy love.
2. I never saw so sweet a face

As that I stood before.

My heart has left its dwelling place

And can return no more.
3. For nothing this wide universe I call,

Save thou, my rose; in it thou art my all.
4. My love is strengthen'd, though more weak in seeming;

I love not less, though less the show appear:

That love is merchandized whose rich esteeming

The owner's tongue doth publish every where.
5. Thy love is better than high birth to me,

Richer than wealth, prouder garments' cost,

Or more delight than hawks or horses be;

And having thee, of all men's pride I boast...
6. Of this gold city, and eternal day'-

Nay peace: behind my prison's blinded bars

I do possess what none can take away

My love and all the glory of the stars.
7. Between the blossoms red and white,

O merrily the throstle sings!

My love first came into my sight,

O perfect vision of delight,

O the glad dove has golden wings!
8. ...and the sunlight clasps the earth,

And the moonbeams kiss the sea;-

What are all these kassings worth,

If thou kiss not me?
9. What's to come is still unsure:

In delay there lies not plenty;

Then, come kiss me, sweet and twenty,

Youth's a stuff will not endure.
10. My cheek is cold and white, alas!

My heart beats load and fast-

Oh! press it close to thine own again,

Where it will break at last!
11. Oh night! divorce our sun and sky apart -

Never our lips, our hands.
12. You smiled, you spoke and I believed,

By every word and smile - deceived.

Another man would hope no more;

Nor hope I- what I hoped before.

But let not this last wish be vain;

Deceive, deceive me once again!
13. It's all I have I have to bring today,

This, and my heart beside,

This, and my heart beside, and all the fields,

And all the meadows wide.

Be sure you count, should I forget,

Someone the sum could tell,

This, and my heart, and all the bees

Which in the clover dwell.
14. Nor tie to earths to come,

Nor action new,

Except through this extent,

The Realm of You!
15. A magic moment I remember:

I raised my eyes and you were there.

A fleeting vision, the quintessence

Of all that's beautiful and rare.
16. My heart is what it was before,

A house where people come and go

But it is winter with your love,

The sashes are beset with snow.
17. Love, if I weep it will no matter,

An if you laugh I shall no care;

Foolish am I to think about it,

But it is good to feel you there.
18. Beauty and love are all my dreams;

They change not with the changing day;

Love stays forever like a stream

That flows but never flows away;...
19. Rowing in Eden.

Ah, the sea.

Might I but moor

Tonight with thee!
20. O hurry to the ragged wood, for there

I will drive all those lovers out and cry

O, my share of the world, O, yellow hair!

No one has ever loved but you and I.
21. At last, when all the summer shine

That warmed life's early hours is past,

Your loving fingers seek for mine

And hold them close - at last - at last!
22. I fear not all that Time or Fate

May bring to burden heart or brow,-

Strong in the love that came so late,

Our souls shall keep it always now!
23. I love thee, as I love the calm

Of sweet, star-lighted hours!

I love thee, as love the balm

Of early jes'mine flow'rs.
24. Such is the feeling which from thee

Nought earthly can allure:

'Tis ever link'd to all I see

Of gifted - high - and pure!
25. I love you as I love the ...
...first

Young violet of the spring;

Or the pale lily, April-nurs'd

To scented blossoming.
26. Having loved me when I was young

And now when I am not,

You are twice blessed

For giving

A rich person a gift.
27. Come live with me and be my love,

And we will all the pleasures prove,

That valleys, groves, hills and fields,

Woods or steepy mountains yields.
28. I prize thy love more then whole mines of gold,

Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
29. And looking to the Heaven, that bends above you,

How oft! I bless the Lot that made me love you.
30. But see how patient I am grown

In this coil about thee:

Come, nice thing, let thy heart alone,

I cannot live without thee!
31. If ever two were one, then surely we.

If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee;

If ever wife was happy in a man,

Compare with me ye women if you can.
32. I would I could adopt your will,

See with your eyes, and set my heart.

Beating by yours, and drink me fill

At your soul's springs - your part my part

In life, for good and ill.
33. My love is such that rivers cannot quench,

Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.

Thy love is such I can no way repay,

The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.
34. Give all to love;

Obey the heart;

Friends, kindred, days,

Estate, good-fame,

Plans, credit and the Muse,-

Nothing refuse.
35. The void shall not weary, the fear shall not alter

These lips and these eyes of the loved and the lover.
36. Come to me in my dreams, and then

By day I shall be well again!

For then the nightwill more than pay

The hopeless longing of the day.
37. How say you "Let us, O my dove,

Let us be ashamed of soul,

As earth lies bare to heaven above!

How is it under control

To love or not to love?"

CALL ME

1. The sun will turn black

If you don't call me back!
2. Everything seems to be out of line...

Call me... then everything will be fine!
3. Urgent! It's very urgent! in half an hour call me!
4. Call me... I've absolutely forgotten what you voice sounds like...
5. DANGER! Didn't you know there is a fire-bomb in your telephone? And it will detonate, if you don't call me in 15 second and don't tell me where and when we meet...
6. There is no louder sound than the silence of the telephone!
7. My large ears are waiting for tender and sweet words.
8. Without your call I seem to be dying...

I'm begging... Please, call me, my darling!
9. If you are reading this SMS - your eyes are opened. If your eyes are opened - you are not sleeping. Kitty, call me!
10. If you have read this SMS

you should have called me, my Princess!
11. I suffer without your call

Why don't you phone me, my girl?
12. I'm not able to eat and to sleep,

And in studies I make no progress.

I miss you, my baby, so deep...

Oh, send me (just) one SMS!
13. Melancholy came over me...

You know, without u I dree!
14. Your smile sweet and bright

Is a long way off

Why can't I see your delight?

My darling, where do you rove?
15. I'm shouting at the top of my voice:

Your silence makes me feel like a corpse!
16. You thrill me with every your soft SMS

Without your Msgs I feel myself loveless...
17. It's you that I'm waiting for

It's only you I completely adore

Without u the world seems less

Please, Dear, send me SMS...
18. Your call is like the sun,

which warms me when I'm cold

Your call is like the star,

which lights for me the world!
19. I'm breathing in and out slowly

I stare at my telephone

I feel so sad, I feel so lonely

I want to hear your dulcet tone!

BIRTHDAY SMS

1. You are as sweet as a dream,

You are as tender as a dove,

You are as fresh as a stream,

Happy Birthday, My Love!
2. Happy birthday to a special man!

All my love to you this precious day!

For me you mean more than I can say

You are a place where I always can stay
3. For you this birthday ought to be a sun

Overriding all the other stars

For me your birthday is another occasion

To say how I love you with passion!
4. I wished to present you a lot of flowers, but none of them is as beautiful, as you are.. I wanted to catch a star for you, but I didn't find such magnificent and charming as my lady, then I decided to present you with my heart... Happy Birthday, Darling!
5. Happiness is the smile on your face

Happiness is the love we share

Happiness is our sweet embrace

I hope this day with me you'll share!

Cuz Happiness when you are near

Happy Birthday, my Sweety, my Dear!
6. For u, my Love, the happiest of birthdays!

Let this be a day your soul will sing!

Rejoicing in the pleasure that this day

Must to all who love u surely bring!
7. Have a happy birthday!

I'm sending u my kiss!

I'm waiting for you when you turn

To me your fated bliss.
8. "Happy Birthday" means much more

Than have a happy day.

My "Happy Birthday" for you means "I love"

"I love u very much "... my May...
9. Happy birthday to the one I love!

And all my love goes out to u today!

My heart moves always as u move

I realized, YOU mustn't be away!
10. Happy birthday, Dearest one!

Sweet person of my heart!

We've become a single whole,

Of which u are a precious part.
11. We are one in love and joy

In fondness and in worth

And so as one with you my Boy

We'll celebrate your day of birth!
12. Happy Birthday late, and also ever!

All your days be blessed with love and peace!

You are the one in my soul forever

Years come and go, our love will increase!
13. You are my closest, my dearest friend...

No! No! You mean much more!

I wish that your happiness would never end!

If I'm a wave that you will be my shore!
14. My Dear, I'm glad you're here with me

You share my joy and pain

I wish that this day the greatest will be

And bring you good memory lane!
15. I'm so joyful to be a part of you

To be at home with you and not a guest,

I never felt a love so fine and true.

I'm happy with you, you're the best!

Happy Birthday, my Sweetheart!
16. How can I make this day of telling special

If I tell you I love you each day?

If you know that you are my dream, you're my Angel?

I wish your beauty would never wane!
17. Happy birthday, dearest one!

Oh, happy, happy day!

I wish that nothing in this world

Could take your joy away!
18. I miss you on your birthday,

Not only your smile!

Not wanting t'seem so wordy

Proclaim: I love you, guy!

BEING LATE

1. I have one feeling that I really hate:

When I seem to be again late...
2. I can be late, I'm sorry...

But I will come, don't worry!
3. I will be late.

I'VE LOST my head

But u'll forgive me,

Won't u, dear friend?
4. I'm going to be late

And I'm asking u to wait!
5. I wish my day was frozen

as I'm always late

It seems my watch is broken,

But once again, please, wait!
6. I feel myself like a fire horse.

But u know me,

I will be late of course.
7. I'm truly moving fast!

I promise you'll see me at last!
8. I know we have a meeting

This afternoon

I'm almost ready, u'll see me soon!
9. It's not my fault...

I will be late.

My car is broken

I have to wait.
10. I remember about your time

Why do you always forget about mine?
11. I thought

I wouldn't be late.

But I will be, I'm afraid

APPOLIGIZING

1. Did I make u angry?

Did I do it wrong?

Sweety, please, forgive me

I won't stand apart from you long!
2. Please Gorgeous, forgive me once more,

U are the only girl I completely adore!

I'm sorry!
3. I never meant to hurt u

Or to make u cry

Forgive me, dear lady...

U can't? Oh, tell me, why?
4. My left leg's big toe is still trembling because of the shame I've done.

When I look into the mirror, I see there a person with long ears and with a big note "asshole" written on the face. Forgive me, I'll never behave this way!
5. Listen to your heart, even if you are not sure that it's right... Let's forget all our resentments, shall we?
6. I can say I'm sorry,

But it will not be enough...

I wish we'd never quarrel...

I'll never be so rough!!!
7. You may not believe me

But I'm writing from the soul.

I'm begging: please, forgive me

My heart may die alone...
8. Baby I'm sorry. For everything I said.

Baby I wish I could take back every wrong thing I said to u. U are the only person I can think of from night till the bright sunrise.
9. U are my breath that I can't be alive, if I lose u! Please, forgive me and come back!
10. I broke your heart in such a harsh way,

Trust me, I'm sorry for that horrible day...

Just give me a chance and I promise everything will be good,

Hopefully, things will be the way they really should.
11. Your face is circling in my head

From the time I wake up 'til I go to bed.

Without u my life will tame...

Oh, please, forgive my awful shame!
12.I never thought I would miss u this way,

Feeling lonely and crazy everyday...

I'm to blame for my terrible deed,

But u are the only person I need!
13. Just because of one stupid mistake

I live with pain

every day and night...

Just because of one stupid phrase

Our happiness seems to be lost.

Forgive me, My Dear.
14. Painful nights without u

Bitter days when I can't talk to u

I only have myself to blame...

But I did't want to cause u pain!
15. They say that people make mistakes

I know that's what I did

I hope you will forgive my breaks

Without u... there's nothing worse, indeed!
16. I wish we'd never grow apart

We'd share our lifetime.

I hope u keep me in your heart

U'll forever be mine!
17. I made a mistake and I'm really sorry

I promise I'll never cause you worry

Don't u believe me? Don't u see it's true..?

I'll always love no one but u!
18. I think that I made a mistake,

Help me take it back.

Forgive me,

Forget it happened.

Be my friend

Love me, forever...
19. I can't be without u in my life anymore

How could I make a mistake of letting u go?

U don't have t'ask me

If I still love u

Because I do and hope u too.
20. So many wrongs I see now that I've done.

You're never guilty, I am the one!

I apologize now for this grave mistake!

Forgive me, please, for Heaven's sake!
21. I'm writing this poem cuz I don't know what t'say

For guiding and misleading u in this way

I'm asking myself how could I be so selfish and deceiving...

Forgive me, my Lady, I'm still of u dreaming...
22. I'm sorry for all the mistakes I've made.

I was a crazy to make u believe I never loved u...

Now u are gone...

But I want u to know that I LOVE U!!!
23. U told me u loved me, but I just smiled,

U said things but I didn't hear

Today I want to cry for all my mistakes

But loving u wasn't one of those...
24.I made a mistake of letting u go

That was bad enough!

The words of love confused my soul.

But now I'm falling apart...
25. It hurts that we can't be together

It hurts when I'm thinking of u

It hurts that I know I'll love u forever

It hurts ......that I made u feel blue!

Forgive me, Darling!
26. For whatever wrong I did

And for all the things I've done

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, indeed!

Forgive me, my Lady, my Sun!
27. I'm not worth even a dime

I didn't see the fault of mine...

I'm sorry for that!

It's up to u, forgive me or not,

I'm to blame that your heart is hurt.

I'm sorry for that!
28. I'm sorry to make u cry

I really, really am!

To hurt u was a great crime!

I'll never commit it again!
29. I'm sorry. I know what I did was wrong.

I'm not going to lie.

I'm sorry for my love is so strong,

for I adore your smile...
30. I stand in the rain

Washing away my pain

I'm sorry of what I did

I wish I could run and hid...
31. I made a grass mistake

And I broke your heart in two

U may not forgive me,

But be sure of that

Baby, I still love and need u!
32. I'm sitting here and wondering to

myself: why did I let U go?

Maybe I would give u

a call. I don't know...

I admit it - I've made a mistake

But I'll stop being so fake!

A HEART-TO-HEART TALK

1. The day I met you,
You took my breath away,
I might not get to heaven
But that's ok,
cuz I walked with one of his angels that day
2. My darling, look at the sky.. Do you see the stars shining? Listen... each of them is whispering how I do love you!
3. It was a day
When I saw no chance
Of being happy
but when you came
Into my life
My heart is shining again.
4. Please, smile.
It's one of the reasons why
I'm in love with your lips!
5. When I look into your eyes,
I see the sky flying by.
When you come and smile at me
It makes my heart skip a bit.
When you touch my hand
I feel that I can
Be in love with you.
6. Someone
is admiring you
Caring for you
protecting you
Loving you...
guess who?
me.
7. My love for u
is so blue
only if u knew
how blue I was without you!
8. My life was like a heavy cloud
Dark, dreary, sullen, full of rain
With snow with wind and hail
And then... you came.
9. Don't you know why my love for u is so strong?
It's just cannot be expressed in other way...
10. I'd like you to be my teddy bear
for I could take u in my bed every night :)
11. I want all the clocks and watches to stop
and the whole world to be only for us...
12. If someone offered me eternity without you,
I would choose a single moment but with you...
13. Do you know where I am? Lower, lower, lower.
Why are you looking for me in the phone? Lower.
No, not here. I'm in your heart!
14. My greatest wish is to become your tear to touch your skin, to stream down your cheek and to die on your lips!
15. If you touched my heart by your lips,
you would feel not only the sense of my body
but the love and caress, which are only for you!
16. Now my kiss is on your finger! Keep it!
Clasp your palm to your bosom and it'll inspire u !
17. Open the window and let the fresh morning air in!
The shining sun'll say how I do love you!
18. Always smile, even when you are blue -
somebody may fall in love with you pretty smile...
19. I want! I really want! I do want!
You can hardly imagine how I want it!!!
I want you now... to smile!!!

GOOD MORNING SMS

1. A new day has begun
But I already miss you!
You are my little sun,
You are my charming Princess!
2. I wish to wake up everyday
And see you're with me, you're near...
But it's just a dream... I just only can say
Good morning, My Dear!
3. There are two things in the world which make me wake up:
the alarm-clock and... your name!
4. Open the window and let the fresh morning air in!
The shining sun'll say that I'm in love with you!
5. The sky is blue and cloudless,
Full of brightest shine of sun
Wake up, my Dear Princess,
The new day has begun!
6. You opened your eyes, so bright and loving...
I'm eager to say: Dear, good morning!
7. I met u in my dream this night
Hand in hand we were soaring
In cloudless sky we were very tight...
Oh, why must always come morning?
8. I wish your morning'd be full of glare
I wish your morning'd be full of new
I know your morning will be full of care
Cuz from evening till sunrise I'm thinking of you!
9. Let the Sun shine for u
Let today u never feel blue!
Let today everything be alright
Oh, tell me, will we meet tonight?
10. The sun is shining in the sky
which seems to me unbelievably blue
This morning is fresh and fairly bright
Oh, thanks for this wonderful morning with u!!!
11. Sometimes it's so hard to wake up
All the more to get out of bed
In the morning I'm sick as a mud
Without u my morning is wet!
12. It seems unbelievable, that u are far away...
But all the same I wish u good morning and lucky day!
13. Bonjour!
Benazalto!
Guten Morgen!
Bom dia!
Good morning, my Dear!
14. You are in the only person in this life
Who makes my morning sweet and bright!
15. While sleeping, you are so pretty
But sunrise is already here...
Good morning, my Sweety
I wish u to be of good cheer!
16. The most desired of all my wishes
Is to kiss now your lips, so tender and delicious!
17. Tall nettles by the fencing
Their bright pearls are flaunting
And whispering merrily:
"Good morning!"
18. Snow, frost and sunshine... Lovely morning!
Yet you, dear love, its magic scorning,
Are still abed... Awake my sweet!
19. My morning becomes dun
When you are far away
Come back to me, my sun
And promise that you'll stay!
20. I'm sending my sweet kiss to you
And say "Good morning, I love you!"
21. А new day is coming
And I want to say
Good morning, my Darling
Good morning, my May!
22. Each new morning is sunless
Each new day is not so bright
Each new evening is hopeless
Without u by my side!
23. Yesterday morning I told u I loved u
Tomorrow morning I'll tell u the same
Cuz your smile, your eyes, your love and your care
Make me wake up everyday!
24. Are u still in bed?!
It is already midday!
Why haven't you called me yet?
Wake up and do it right away!
25. I'm looking forward to your SMS
Will you tell me "Good morning", Princess?

I woke up one day and thought something was missing. So I got up from my bed, grabbed my cell phone and sent you a morning greeting. Good a.m.

Someday, you will find one who will watch every sunrise with you until the sunset of your life. Baka tayo sipunin niyan. Good a.m.

I woke up today smiling as I recall our friendship because I know that years from now, I will still be waking up smiling for the same reason every morning.

A warm "hello" doesn't come from the lips, it comes from the heart; doesn't have to be told, it has to be shown; doesn't have to be given, it has to be sent. Text me na.

God smiled at me just this morning thru the rising sunrays. I'm sharing the same courtesy with you by sending you a warm smile that your heart can feel even without seeing.

Of all the smiles you received today, there was a smile you didn't see. A smile not from the lips, but straight from the heart - a smile that came from me.

Sometimes, life gets so busy that we could not find time to say "Thank you" to someone who has been so nice and wonderful. "Thank you!"

Everyday is a happy day as long as you text me once a day. I tell you, this is no lie. A text from you always makes me smile.

I woke up a few hours ago, but somehow I feel incomplete till I remembered I haven't texted you yet. Have a pleasant morning!

People vanish, people die. People laugh and people cry. Some give up, some will try. Some say hi, while some say bye. Others may forget, but never will I. Good morning!

Every morning, leave your worries outside your gate, coz that's where they pick up the garbage! Have a worry free day!

Hey, good morning! Rise and shine! As you open your eyes to greet the morning sun, I wish that you would be well and fine.

A smile is a way of writing your thoughts on your face, telling others that they are accepted, liked and appreciated. So here's a big smile just for you. Good am!

Every morning has a new beginning, a new blessing, a new hope. It's a perfect day coz it's God's gift. Have a blessed, hopeful perfect day to begin with. Good a.m.

The best gifts to give: to friend - loyalty; to enemy -forgiveness; to boss - service; to child - good example; to parents - devotion; to friends - love; to God - our lives; and to text mate - message.

This message has no fat, no cholesterol and no additive. This is all natural except, with a lot of sugar. But it can never be as sweet as the one reading it. Smile!

Smile! Because you have just received a text message from someone hoping you are fine. Good a.m.

With atomic and meteoric regards, my volcanic impulse trembles every time I greet a person with a magnitude of character and charm like you.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight and wipes the wrinkles away. Hope you receive a lot and share a lot of smiles today. Here's one from me.

Never get tired of doing little things to others, because sometimes those little things may mean so much to them. That's why I won't get tired of sending my little hi to you.

We're not too close in distance. We're not too near in miles. But text can still touch our hearts and thoughts can bring us smiles. Good morning!

Doctor's advice: eat breakfast regularly, drink plenty of water, take your vitamin C, and text me three times a day. Good a.m.

A smile is a language everybody understands. It costs nothing but creates much. It happens fast but its memory may last forever. Keep smiling.

All mornings are like a painting, you need a little inspiration to get you going, a little smile to brighten it and a message from someone who cares to color your day.

One of the joys in life is waking up each day with thoughts that somewhere, someone cares enough to send a warm morning greeting! Good morning and enjoy the day!

An icing can make a cake so sweet, a string can make a balloon so high, a match can make a candle so bright. I hope that a simple text can make you smile.

You don't text often. You don't text much. It makes me feel sad coz we're out of touch. The message is clear. There's someone I really miss and it's you my dear! Good am!

Each time I text you good am, it's not just a morning greeting. There's a silent message saying I thought of you as I woke up this morning! Good am!

May you rise each texting day with fully charged cell phone in your hand, inspiring message in your mind, me in your heart, and a clear signal all day long. Nice day!

Could you do me a favor? Put your left hand over your right shoulder then your right hand to your left shoulder. There! I've just given you a morning hug.

Text Quotes

Never rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.

Love has its ups and downs, its twists and turns. Love leaves you pain, teaches you until you learn and even if love takes so long, it always takes you to where you belong.

Women listen to music because they are in love. Men listen to music because they want to fall in love.

Some people don't get any respect at all because they are asking for the respect they deserve.

You don't marry someone you can live with. You marry the person who you cannot live without.

There is no such a thing as ignorance, but only degrees of wisdom.

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end, coz love is all there is.

Traffic. The black spell that makes commuters forget they are in love.

Love and stars are similar in one way. They keep you looking up every night.

There are two things rain helps improve: agricultural production and Philippine population.

It's better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than lose that someone with your useless pride.

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.

When everything goes wrong, push! When you wish for something, push! When people don't understand, push. When you wish for love, P-ush U- ntil S-omething H-appens!

Guilt: The inner voice that tells us that Someone may be looking.

Being single is cool. No worrying about anyone, no obligations and best of all, no heartaches. But you know what? If you will never get your heart broken, you will never learn to love.

Looking at men who are drunk is a mistake. Looking at women who are drunk is a temptation.

Women fall in love through their ears, and men through their eyes.

Each of us is a star. Sometimes we shine with the rest. Sometimes we twinkle alone. Sometimes when we least know it, we make someone's wish come true.

Home is the only place where one does not get homesick.

Every ten seconds, somewhere on this earth, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and most often in the tongue of the liar.

A person is happy if he has a problem and enjoys solving it.

Girls are like cell phones, they like to be held and talked to, but press the wrong button and you're disconnected. Guys are like buses. If you miss that one, another will be along soon.

It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good too to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money cannot buy!

In love, there is always one who kisses and one who offers the cheek.

Relationships are like traffic signs 1-way, 2-way, do not enter, no U turn, no left turn, but the best so far is give way and keep right.

Being happy all the time is kind of boring.

When you love somebody, be ready to take the intensity of emotions. Be jealous, anxious. Love with all your might. Take the pain and everything that comes with it. Just make sure that the person is worth it.

Words and hearts should be handled with care... for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.

It's amazing how one person can bring you so much happiness and pain in your life. Maybe it's really love knocking when he can make you so happy that you forget all the pains. So don't forget all the happiness when he breaks your heart.

It takes three seconds to say I love you, three minutes to explain, three hours to demonstrate, three days to appreciate, three terms to produce it, but a lifetime to prove it.

The best thing about an enemy is that he tells the truth about you.

Say good about yourself and you'll be called arrogant; say bad about yourself and you'll be believed.

Some flowers grow best in the sun; others do well in the shade. God plants us where we grow best and gives us loved ones to grow with.

There is no absolute freedom. When your girlfriend says, "I love you", that is her freedom. But then again, will you let her say, "I love you" to every man.

Love can never be taught for it is to be learned; love can never be bought for it is to be given; love can never be kept for it is to be free; love can never be old for it lives to last a lifetime.

When a battered wife learns to fight back, blame the husband. He showed signs of weakness. When a battered husband learns to fight back, blame the wife. She took too far.

Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows; the more you suppress it, the more it grows.

It is always a pleasure to listen to persons bragging about their humility.

We forgive those who bore us but cannot forgive those whom we bore.

Friendly Text Messages

My mom always told me that we could never measure our wealth by money but by our friends. She would surely be glad to meet you and know how rich I turned out to be!

I'm glad friendship doesn't come with price tags. For if it does, I'd never afford someone as great as you.

God in heaven, God above, please protect the friend I love. Sent with a smile, sealed with a kiss, I love my friend who's reading this.

The nicest place these days is right beside your friends. Usog konti, tabi ako!

You brighten my day, di ka naman araw. You light up my life, di ka naman ilaw. You make me smile, di ka naman bulalakaw. You warm my heart, di ka naman sabaw. Friend kita, yan malinaw!

A friend is sweet when it is new. And it is sweeter when it is true. But you know what? It is sweetest when it is you.

A coin is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. The coin depreciates but a friend appreciates. I lost a coin when I texted you, but it's okay because I got you.

A smile makes us look younger… while prayers make us feel stronger… and friends…? They make us enjoy life forever.

Each day God sends His angels to guide us. We don't expect to see them with wings, or with halo flying above their heads. Instead, they come in disguise and we call them friends. Thank you for being an angel to me!

A friend is like a book that has to be read to appreciate its beauty. As such, you're one of the finest books ever written. How I wish you could be reprinted!

What are the differences between a peso and a friend? A peso is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. A peso loses its value, a friend increases its worth. I don't have a peso but I have you!

God sprinkles tiny but wonderful seeds of blessings on earth each day...and I just caught one that's so nice and true...It's you!

A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship.

Friendship is a gift that is fair in all things. It roots from one's heart and involves memories that stay not for a while but for a lifetime.

If you open my heart, guess what you are gonna see? It's you. True friends are hard to find so I kept you.

Care is the main ingredient that keeps true friendships alive despite separation, distance and time. Care sustains love. Since I can't see you, let my care be with you, friend!

What is a friend? She looks out for you, inspires you, laughs with you, cries with you, understands you, guides you and walks with you. That's what a friend is…you.

I have a pen which is blue, I have a friend which is you. Flowers will die, waters will dry, but our friendship will never say goodbye.

How long shall we be friends? Do you want a clue? As long as stars twinkle in the sky, till the water runs dry and till the day I die. We will be friends.

I might run out of cute graphics to send you, but I'll never run out of this: care for you.

A friend is a push when you have stopped, a chat when you are lonely, a guide when you are searching, a smile when you are sad, a song when you are glad.

Colors may fade, the sun may not shine, the moon may not be bright, heartbeats may stop, lives may pass but our friendship, I'll treasure 'till the day my heart stops.

When you're down, I'll be there to cheer you up. When you're tired, I'll be there to lift you up. I'll be your friend no matter what!

Friends are like mangga... you'll never know which is sweet and which is not. Well I'm lucky coz I was able to find the sweetest mangga in you!

If you want to be happy for a day, get a date. Happy for a week, get a lover. Happy till the end, keep me.

I don't regret the things I have done and the things I didn't do. For somewhere along the way I must have done something right coz I ended up with a friend like you.

I may have forgotten to say that I care. I may have failed to open up and share, but though no words have been spoken, my promise of friendship won't be broken.

Time and distance are important between friends. When a friend is in your heart, they remain there forever. I may be busy, but I assure you, you are always in my heart!

I was never tired of this life and it's not gonna matter if I fall down twice, coz I know each time I fall, you won't let me hit the ground. Thanks for being around.

Friends are gifts wrapped in ribbons of thoughtfulness and trimmed with kisses and smiles, given by God to stay not just for a day, but for life. Thanks!

Fifty years from now, I'd be so old I might forget you. I might not remember ever knowing you, or might forget I once cared for you. I might… but I won't.

Do you ever recall the first day we met? Our first hello? The day we became friends? Well, I do and I will always remember. For that very day, I knew I'd cherish you.

Some friends are remembered because of their smile. Some friends are remembered because of their style. But you are remembered because you are so nice to remember. Take care.

Someday you may lose your hair, your teeth, your looks, or even your memory. But there's something you won't lose. Me, coz I'll always be your friend.

I won't promise to be your friend forever, coz I won't live that long. But let me be your friend as long as I live.

I thank God I'm rich not with money but with people like you. I may not have the most expensive things but I've got a most precious gem… a friend like you.

I admit I'll never be the perfect friend. I'll never be there always. I may not make you smile at times but there is one thing I admit I could do. To be the person I could be for you.

Friends are like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold you up, sometimes you lean on them. But sometimes, it's enough to know they're just standing by.

I thank the Lord for the gift of friendship where I can be myself and be accepted as I am and for finding a home in the heart of a friend.

Keep me as a friend and I will keep you in my heart and lock it up. I'll throw away the key so that no one can take you away from me.

Some joys are better explained in silence, as a smile gets more audible than laughter. I was asked if I enjoyed my friendship with you. I just smiled.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them; I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know. My riches do not lie in material wealth but in having friends like you - a precious gift from God!

I always thought loving someone is the greatest feeling, but I realized that loving a friend is even better. We lose people we love, but we never lose true friends.

If one day you feel like crying, call me. I can't promise to make you laugh, but I'm willing to cry with you.

A man should keep his friends in a constant repair. The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

Some friends are separated by time. Some are separated by differences. Some by distances, some by pride. But no matter how far you are or different we may be, you'll always be a friend to me!

There is a golden bridge called friendship that spans the river of time and links out hearts together even if we walks separate roads of life.

If friends were flowers surely I would not pick you! I'd let you grow in the garden and cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you forever.

One tree can start a forest, one smile can start a friendship. One touch can show you care, one friend can make life worth living for.

In my dreams, we were never apart. In my dreams you kept me close. In my dreams you loved me the most. In my dreams we're always together. Might as well be dreaming forever.

Gusto ko na benta cell phone ko... lam mo ba? Gusto ko hagis, durugin at tadyakan ang cell phone ko... lam mo ba? Gusto ko na panakaw to... lam mo ba? Maloloka na ko sa pag-iintay ng text mo... lam mo ba?

Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within my heart!

A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure the friendship between us.

Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends listen to what you don't say...

I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha

Tips in Texting

Dos and Don'ts in Sending SMS

1. Avoid participating in text games endorsed by television stations. These games are forms of gambling. (See article on text gambling.)

2. Don't pass text messages that ruin other people's reputation.

3. Don't invade the privacy of other people who ask that they be left alone.

4. Delicate information about bomb threat, fire or any disaster should be handled with extreme caution.

5. Avoid using vulgar terms or sending messages that are malicious in nature.

6. Observe courtesy when responding to a texter who had sent his message by mistake to your number.

7. As much as possible, avoid texting while in a conversation with real people.

8. Unless in case of emergency, don't send text messages past midnight when people are asleep.

9. Jokes should always entertain and inspire, not upset or put people down.

10. Texting spiritual truths is greatly encouraged.

Healthy Texting

1. Subscribe to a network, which is also used by your friends, relatives, officemates and text mates. This way, you could save a lot of money.

2. Texting a person who just sits beside you is not advisable.

3. Avoid texting while driving. If you cannot help it, avoid driving while texting.

4. As a matter of caution, texting near gas stations is discouraged.

5. Sending the same messages repeatedly to one person can be irritating to the receiver at times.

6. Turn off your mobile phones while in chapel, classroom, hospital, library, theater, airplane, golf course or beside your friend who needs your full attention.

7. Don't flaunt your mobile phones in public so as not to get the attention of robbers or thieves.

8. As much as possible, have your mobile phones insured.

9. Before putting it in your pocket, lock the keypad of the mobile phone to avoid making unwanted calls.

10. Don't drink alcoholic beverages, take drugs or engage in gambling while texting or not.

Text Lingo

Filipino texters have developed a special lingo that is not necessarily grammatical. While proper grammar and English usage should always be observed, as insisted by the Department of Education, text lingo can be useful while texting in a hurry.

The following are characters, figures, words and phrases that are most commonly contracted in text messaging. Applicable to English and Filipino messages.

# - number
@ - at
& - and
? - what?
1 - one (Numbers are not usually spelled out.)
2 - two, to, too (Tomorrow becomes 2moro.)
3 - three, tree (The name Trina becomes 3na.)
4 - four, for (Forget becomes 4get.)
8 - eight; ate (Mate becomes m8.)
a - preferred over per
attn - attention
b - be, bee (Wana b my txtm8?)
b4 - before
bc - busy
bin - not a good substitute for been (Bin means container.)
bkit - bakit?
btw - by the way
btwn - between
bye - good bye
c - see; sea (Sino ay nagiging cno?)
coz - because
cul8r - See you later.
d - the; hindi
d8 - date
dat - that
dem - them
dey - they
dis - this, these
dnt - do not
dsnt - does not
every - evry
f - if
fil - feel
frens - friends
frm - from
fyi - for your information
g - gee
gud - good (Good morning becomes gud am.)
hi - hi, high
i - eye
l8 - late
laf - laugh
k - okay
luv - love
m - I am, am (Embrace becomes mbrace)
mssg - message
n - and, in
need - nid
nite - night, knight
nt - not
nxt - next
ol - all
pis - fish, peace (Office becomes opis.)
pls - please
q - queue, cue
r - are (Hu r u?)
rsvp - respond upon receiving
s - is
san - saan?
smyl - smile
t - tee, tea
til - until
tlg - talaga?
tnx - thanks
text - txt
thru - through
tru - true
ty - thank you
u - you
ur - your, you're
w/ - with
w/c - which
w/o - without
wen - when
y - why

Reminders

1. One trick is to spell an English word in Filipino in order to save space. (Who becomes hu and these becomes dis.)

2. Some vowels are dropped. (Kailan becomes kelan or simply wen. Have becomes hav.)

3. Avoid word contractions that are hard to recognize. (Ndpndnc is certainly not a good substitute for independence.)

4. Use a smiley to convey an emotion. :-)

5. Use text lingo only when in a hurry. Trina (instead of 3na) would be glad if you take the effort of spelling her name correctly.

Islamic Text Messages

Mapenzi ya Allah yawe maliwazo kwako, Akuruzuku imani na huba moyoni mwako, Pepo yake Rahmani iwe ndio makaazi yako, Akupe yalo mema kuzidi fikra zako. ***AMEEN*** Jum'a Kareem!!

Siku Tukufu imewadia, Yarraby tunusuru na Balaa za Duniya, Tufaulu Mitihani ya kilimwengu, Tuwe ni wenye kukumbuka na kushukuru Fadhla na Ukarimu wako. ****AMEEN!!!**** Jum'a Mubarak!!!

Rabbi tuvike libasi Leo na kesho Qiyama Tuondoshe wasi wasi Utwepushe zahma Tusitiri na maa'si Tusiwe wenye kuzama Awe mbali Iblisi Nasi peponi maqama, Amiyn **Jumaa Kareem**

Ewe khalikul' bashar, Muumba na muumbua, Tuepushe kulli sharr, Tuno na tusozijua, Utupe yalo sahal, Kwako tunategemea, Tufufue na Rasul, Peponi nayeye kuwa. Amiyn, Jumaa mubarak.

Leo nakuvisha koja tena lilo na thamani, Si viluwa si asumini ni subra koja la Muumini, Ilahi akuauni maovu akukhini, Mema akuzidishie akujazie kapuni. ****AMEEN!!!**** **JUMAA KAREEM**

Angalia utukufu wa Ijumaa: SubhanaAllah!! M/Mungu alimuumba Adam siku ya Ijumaa, Ijumaa Adam akaletwa duniani, Ijumaa Adam akafariki, Ijumaa ukiomba Dua inakubaliwa, Qiyama kitasimama Ijumaa. Jee yendapo Ijumaa ya leo itakuwa Qiyama Umejiandaa vp?? **Jum'aa Kareem**

Rabbi akupe Taufiq Nuru kukuangazia, Azikunjuwe riziki mambo kukunyoshea, Upatacho kibariki kitoshe na kubakia, Usikutane na dhiki ya Akhera na Dunia. ****AMEEN!!!**** **JUMAA KAREEM**

Nuru ya allah imulike kwako,ikutimizie mahitaji yako.riziki ya halali iwe pato lako,upendo uwe chakula chako,nyayo yako kuu iwe qur'an. Ijumaa karim.
Yuko wapi kama Wewe Mja ulo na Imani, Dua zitakabaliwe uombazo kwa Manani, Milango Ufunguliwe na Malaika Peponi, Haja utimiziwe ulonuia Moyoni. Ameen! J'maa/krm.
Amesema mtume wa Allah (s.a.w): ''ramadhani mpaka ramadhani,ijumaa mpaka ijumaa,swala mpaka swala ni vifutio vya madhambi zikiepukwa dhambi kubwa kubwa" tumuombe Allah kwa huruma zake ijumaa ya leo inshallah atufutie madhambi yetu tuliyofanya tukiwa tunajua au hatujui. IJUMAA KAREEM.

Assalamu 'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

ISLAM is the University ,

WORLD is the Classroom,

QURAN & HADEES is the Sylabus ,

MUHAMMAD Salla Allahu ta'ala 'alayhi wa Sallam is the Teacher ,

MUSLIMS r Class fellows ,

ALLAH is the Examiner ,

HELL OR PRADISE is the Target ,

Try 2 pass the final Exam , ALL The Best For Upcoming exams n exams hereafter INSHALLAH

FUNNY SWAHILI SMS

1.Kuna jamaa alkuwa atoka lamu akushukia hoteli moja mld akaitisha chai,alipoletewa ikiwa haina sukari akaitisha sukari kisha akauliza sukari bei gani akaambiwa ni bure akasema bac nifungieni kilo 2
2. Kuna jamaa aligongwa na gari akawa mahtuti wale jamaa wakumuhudumia wakasema leteni maziwa yule jamaa alogongwa akasema oya na mkate nusu
3.Kuna jamaa alikuwa amekula miraa mpaka akawa fullhandas akicheki nje aona mvua yanyesha akasema doh mke wangu atakuwa na wasi wasi kama sikuenda hapo hapo akachukuwa mwavuli akaenda kwa mke wake akamwambia mke wangu mvua yanyesha sana siezi kuja nyumbani nitakuja kesho
4. Kuna jamaa alishikwa akiiba sambusa akaambiwa utalipa sambusa kisha utaenda polisi akajibu sambusa siendi na polisi silipi
5. Saddam alimuuliza ashwarya hw is lyf ashwarya akajibu kabi kush kabi gam nae ashawarya akamuuliza saddam saddam akajibu KABI BUSH KABI BOM
6. Jamaa alitumwa gazeti la tarehe 10 na budake akakosa aliporudi kwa babako akarudi na magazeti 2 ya tarehe 5

Love Jokes

It is said that laughter is the best medicine. If you're in need of a quick dose of humour, here's a collection of our all-time favourite funniest jokes on marriage, love and relationships.

Quick Tip: Many women love to be with humorous men, so learn to develop a sense of humour!

Have a love joke to share? Share it with us! We welcome contributions from our readers. :-)

5 SECRETS TO ROMANTIC HAPPINESS
(FOR A MAN)

1. It is important to find a woman who is good at house hold chores, cooks well and can take care of the kids.

2. It is important to find a woman whom you can bring out for social functions.

3. It is important that she shares the same life goal and common vision as you.

4. It is important to find a woman who is good in bed and loves to have sex with you.

5. It is important that these 4 women never meet.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FOOLING AROUND

There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teen-aged daughters. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife became pregnant and sure enough, nine months later delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He went to his wife and said that there was no way that he could be the father of that child. "Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."

Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

The wife smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time".

IN LOVE WITH TEACHER

It was the start of a new school year. Jamie, a young and attractive lady teacher, was teaching a primary four class. After a few months, she noticed that there was one particular boy Tommy who wasn’t doing well in his class tests.

One day after school, Jamie asked the underperforming boy to stay back so that she could find out more about his difficulties.

Teacher: "Tommy, I noticed you have been doing poorly in your class tests recently. Are you facing any difficulties at home or in school?"

Tommy: "Teacher, I've fallen in love with someone.”

Teacher: "With whom?"

Tommy: "With you."

Teacher: *looks surprised* "But Tommy, you’re only ten years old now. Our age gap is too wide. I don't want a child."

Tommy: "Oh, don't worry Teacher. I know how to use a condom!"

POST-NATAL OBSESSIONS

Three newly-wed women developed obsessions after giving birth to their first children. They saw a psychiatrist Dr P who decided the best way to help them was to conduct a group therapy session to openly discuss about their obsessions.

Dr P said to the first mother, "Your obsession is with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."

Dr P then said to the second mother, "You’re totally obsessed with money. You’ve even named your child Penny."

At this moment, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up

SUPER BABY




SUPER BABY



A baby was born so advanced in development he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "Why, yes, I am," said the doctor.


The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during the birth."



He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" "Yes, dear, I am," said the mother, beaming. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said.

He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?" "Yes, I am," his father proudly answered. The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his index finger. "Hurts, doesn't it!?"

THE WHOLE TRUTH

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it out.

He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him a $50 note and says, "Just don't tell your father. "

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth."

The father also promptly hands him a $50 note and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door.

The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."

The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug."

WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY

A man visits a local pharmacy with his 6-year old son Bryan, a very inquisitive boy. As they were paying for their purchases at the counter, the boy saw some packs of condoms and asked, “Daddy, what are condoms used for?'”

Daddy replied, “Bryan, condoms are used by men to have safe sex. Don’t worry about them, you’re too young to think about such things.”

“Okay! But Daddy, why are they packed in 3’s?” asked Bryan.

Daddy was stumped by the question. He thought for a while, and replied, “Those are for young men with high sex drive. They have sex 3 times each weekend, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Each packet can last them a week.”

“Wow, that is so interesting! But Daddy, why are some of them packed in 12’s?” asked Bryan again.

Without hesitation, Daddy let out a sigh and replied, “Those are for married men whose wives don’t like sex. They have sex only once a month. Each packet can last them a year.”

A CHRISTMAS WISH

An elderly couple was celebrating Christmas at home when a fairy appeared.

The fairy told them that since it was Christmas, she would grant them a wish each.

The wife said, "I’ve lived for so many years, but I've never seen the beautiful Swiss Alps. I wish we could travel there." The fairy waved her wand and SWOOSH! She had a pair of return tickets to Switzerland in her hand.

Surprised at what he saw, the husband became excited and started racking his brain for a wish. He contemplated for a moment, and then said, "I am envious of those guys who have young wives. If possible, I want to be married to a woman who is 20 years younger than me."

The fairy waved her wand and SWOOSH! He became 20 years older.