JOKING

1. The 10 main things men know about women:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10. THEY HAVE BOOBS
2.I saw something in a store display today, it was so beautiful, wonderful and adorable. I was close to buying it 4 u, but then I realized it was my own reflection.
3. I'd like to tell u the three simple words... I am hungry;)
4. I'm a killer, I kill people for money,

but u r my friend I'LL KILL YOU FOR FREE.
5. A man dies and goes to Heaven. He meets God and asks Him to answer a few questions: "Why did u make women so pretty?"- "For you would like them"-"But how come u made them so beautiful?"-"So that you would LOVE them"-"But why did you make them such airheads"-"So they would love u!"
6. One day I was eager to kill the most beautiful person alive... But suicide is a sin;)
7. Always follow my rules:

1. I'm always right

2. If I'm wrong see point 1 :)
8. Nobody is perfect. I'm nobody. Consequently, I'm perfect. :)
9. I really do hate the two words... "Don't" & "stop" unless u put them together!
10. When I'm with u, I long 4 everything and at once,

But I'm getting nothing and little by little.
11. Are u mad at me? if not, turn off your phone!
12. U are not drunk unless u are able to lay on the floor not holding on...
13. If u think that no one cares about you, miss a couple of payments!
14. I need you...

I want you...

to send a message.
15. If u are not fond of me then screw YOU

But.. if u are then screw ME... hehe :)
16. Out of my mind.

Will be back in 5 minutes.
17. I'm doing my make-up, I'll be back in a FEW HOURS.
18. Over-use of alcohol may cause a pregnancy.
19. Those deep eyes, that sexy body, such a brain, a tender lips and pretty smile...but that's enough about me, tell me how you are?
20. Do u want to come to my place for a cup of tea and some sex? No? Why, don't you like tea?
21. Urgent! It's very urgent! Call me in half an hour!
22. Forget my words of love and how I hold u tight

Forget my kisses hot - it's all just only lie,

Of course, u are a pretty man

But more I love the roasted hen!
23. If you were called sleep, I would do you in bed right now!
24. If u've met me - don't look at me

If u've looked at me - don't kiss

If u've kissed me - don't make sex

If u've sexed me - don't stop!
25. I'm so fresh, so clean and so wet...

*in the shower*
26. You have the body of god... unfortunately, it's Buddha.
27. It's important to find a man who has money, a man who will love u, a man who is a great lover. But it's much more important that these 3 men will never meet.
28. Last night i longed 4 u, i wanted u, i was eager to taste u...i wanted u to be inside me.. but i couldn't find u...oh, Tylenol!
29. I know u consider me glad

I know u consider me fine

But like every other guy

Leave the number and wait in line!
30. U broke my heart, so I'll break your jaw.
31. Girls were born so that boys wouldn't feel lonely.
32. I love u, but especially on days that end with a "y".
33. I'm going to do the best thing in bed... well the second best thing :) Sleep.
34. You are, of course, not Venus, but there is something venereal in you...
35. My dear, I'm in the kitchen "cooking"... If i do not call u back in half an hour - dial 9-1-1! Thank u ;)