HOW TO TELL SOMEONE YOU LIKE THEM
How to declare your love to someone you like without being rejected? How can you express your love for someone you like and avoid rejection?
Telling someone you like him/her is more stressful than going for a job interview.
If you fail during a job interview, the only drawback is that you don’t get the job! The interviewer is not going to remember how badly you fared on that day; nor will you ever see him for the rest of your life.
Declaring your love for someone you like is different. If you don’t do it well, not only will you not get the person, you may also find your name mentioned in the hottest gossip “How that C.M.I. (Cannot Make It) person declared to me” in your workplace.
Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Hence, it is imperative to learn all the incorrect ways of expressing your love for someone you like, before you formulate for yourself the right one!
Wrong Strategy #1: Timing
Wen and Qing have known each other for a few months. However, Qing will be going off for an overseas attachment in England for 1 year.
Wen thought that it will be best to confirm the relationship before Qing leaves. So 2 weeks before her departure, Wen declared to Qing.
Needless to say, he failed.
Moral of the story:
Declaring your feelings to someone who will be away overseas for a very long period of time is a bad idea. It is something like making an advance order of 1 year for a Peking duck in Beijing. Throughout this entire year, all you can do is to think of the duck, perhaps see a few pictures of it, but you can’t eat it!!! 1 year later, even if the duck has not changed, it might have flown away…
Wrong Strategy #2: Reason
Sebastian and Sylvia are both university students studying in the same course. Both of them are in the same tutorial group and practically see each other almost every day.
As the days go by, they became very good friends.
One day, Sebastian decided to express his love for Sylvia. He sent her a sms saying “Sylvia, I like you.”
Sylvia was extremely delighted when she saw Sebastian’s declaration sms, because she too, has developed a liking for him. Sylvia smsed back Sebastian the question which most ladies would ask when a guy declared.
“Why do you like me?”
“I like you because I am lonely”, came the reply.
And Sebastian continued to be a lonely man.
Moral of the story:
Loneliness is certainly not an acceptable excuse! Instead of saying you are lonely, perhaps you can come up with more innovative ideas, such as “I like the side view of your face when you turn your head 38.5 degrees to the left.” Sounds more interesting yah?
Wrong Strategy #3: Attitude
Sanjeev and Ritha were classmates. Ritha is the prettiest Indian girl in class and Sanjeev developed a liking for her. One day while going to the canteen, Sanjeev suddenly held Ritha’s hands.
Ritha pushed his hand away and Sanjeev tried again the second time.
Ritha did the same thing and dashed away from him.
Sanjeev cannot see the reason why a dashing man like him will be rejected by Ritha. Being a hot blooded young man, he lost his temper and cursed a few swear words. Later, he started spreading rumours about Ritha.
Needless to say, after seeing Sanjeev’s poor attitude, Ritha would not even want to be his friend.
Moral of the story:
Have the right attitude! If a girl rejects you, just accept it graciously. Do not spread any bad rumours about her!
Wrong Strategy #4: Place
Susan’s dad passed away a few days ago and the family was busy preparing for the funeral. Being emotionally attached to her dad, Susan was heartbroken entirely and broke into tears on many occasions during the memorial service.
David has been secretly in love with Susan for a very long time but has not found the courage to tell her.
One day during the wake, where the trumpets and cymbals were being played loudly, Susan was weeping badly as usual. David walked up to her and said.
David: Susan, I love you. Let me take care of you.
Susan:???
Moral of the story:
Do not express your condolences during Chinese New Year and do not say “I love you” during a funeral!
The incorrect ways of declaring your love for someone you like can be summarized as – TRAP
T = Time
R = Reason
A = Attitude
P = Place
Do not let the above “trap” you when you tell someone you like him/her. Good luck!
HOW TO TELL IF SOMEONE LIKES YOU
Afraid of unreciprocated love? Fret not! In this article, the Love Doctors will share with you some tips on how to read a man's mind or read a woman's mind, to find out if a guy/girl is interested in you.
How To Tell If A Guy Likes You?
If a guy is very interested in you, he will call you frequently and try to date you out. He may shower you with gifts, offer to pay for meals and do things for you willingly. He will be very nice to you, giving you frequent compliments and encouragement. He will also create opportunities to keep in contact with you.
The next category is that of a guy who is interested in you but is still considering whether you are the right person for him. Guys in this category will ask you out for dinner once in a while, call you at a less frequent basis. He is less likely to buy you gifts, in case you get the wrong idea.
If he is just out for a fling, the tell tale signs are that he initiates body contact, such as touching of hands and shoulders, at a very early stage. He flirts with you, for example by whispering softly into your ear when he talks to you. But most importantly, you will know for sure that it is a fling if he does that to all the pretty girls around him.
How To Tell If A Girl Likes You?
If a lady is very interested in you, the more pro-active ones will take the initiative to date a guy out. The less pro-active ones will accept your dates and perhaps offer to pay for your second meal. She will talk about you to her friends and ask her friends of their opinion about you.
If she is interested but is unsure if you fit more as a friend or lover, she will ask you to do things for her and seek advice from you whenever she meets with a problem.
Finally, if a lady has absolutely no interest in you, she will reject your calls, turn down your dates and may even block you on messenger! Guess there is no real need to elaborate more on this!
Whether he/she is interested or not, it is entirely up to you to sustain this interest or to turn tables if you realize that he/she is not interested!
Good luck!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Dating Strategies- Advanced Dating
When the traditional candlelight dinner doesn't help. When your partner is someone who demands for something extra special. BEST TXT shows you the ultimate in dating here.
What happens beyond the first date? This section focuses on advanced dating strategies that will catapult you beyond the first date into making your dream relationship a reality.
After The First Date – What’s Next?
So, after all that preparation, you’ve finally gone for your first date. And thankfully, emerged alive. It wasn’t as bad as you thought, right? Or was it worse than your biggest nightmare? Whatever it is, at the end of the date, you should have a pretty clear idea of which of the following scenarios you fall into:
(1) You really like him/her
(2) You are not sure if you like him/her
(3) You met the wrong type of person
(4) You messed up the first date – big time
No matter which category you belong to, it’s important to know how to make the best use of the unique situation you’re in. In other words, what should you do after the first date is over? We shall take a look at each scenario in turn.
Scenario 1:
You really like him/her
Congratulations! You have potentially found your life partner. Notice that I emphasized the word potentially because you can never judge a person on a single date alone, no matter how much information is exchanged during the conversation, or how confident you are. This is akin to a candidate going for a job interview – the employers will try their best to find out about the candidate’s aptitude and attitude during the job interview, but ultimately, they will only find out the truth about the candidate’s ability and work attitude when he starts working in the company and interacting with his fellow colleagues.
But if you like him/her and you believe there’s potential for a serious relationship, that itself is already a promising start. The following are some tips on how you can proceed from here:
i) Find out more about the other party
You can do that in a few ways. First, ask her out for a few more dates so that you can converse with each other in person. In your conversation, don’t get bogged down by trivia such as movie discussions and celebrity gossip that you forget to ask about the really important areas such as life goals, values, views on family, and so on. Second, if he/she is a friend’s friend, you can easily find out more information about this person by asking.
ii) Develop a closer rapport
Developing rapport is best done by sustained communication - meaning, you don’t just talk for a day and subsequently ignore the other party for the whole of the week. Even if you’re busy with your work, you should communicate via other channels such as email, SMS, online chat. As you become more comfortable with each other, you may gradually reveal more personal information, and in the process also find out more about each other. It takes time to build a solid relationship, and developing a close rapport by regular communication will put you on the right track towards achieving that.
Scenario 2:
You are not sure if you like him/her
So, if you emerged from the first date unsure of whether you like the other party, what should you do next? I advise the following:
i) Don’t give up immediately
At my seminars, one of the all-time favourite questions that people like to ask me is, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”
Well, I strongly believe in it. But the fact is, after talking to a great number of couples, I found out that many successful relationships out there did not develop from “love at first sight”. Interestingly, their first encounter was a tepid affair, but as they went out more often over time, they gradually started to develop feelings for each other.
Some people think that if there are no sparks on the first date, it’s a foregone conclusion. But the fact is, he/she may be the life partner you’re looking for! It’s like stumbling across an unpolished stone not knowing that it’s a valuable diamond in disguise. Be patient, and don’t give up immediately.
ii) Give yourself time
In all likelihood, you’d not be able to find out everything you want to know about the other person on a first date. Often, you end up finding out very little if there’s little conversation during the date (eg. due to nervousness), or if the conversation focused on other topics.
So, to be fair to yourself and to your date, arrange follow-up dates where you can have more time to talk and find out more about each other. You can also communicate via other channels such as SMS, email and online chat. Give yourself time to know each other better before you decide if there’s potential for a serious relationship.
Scenario 3:
You met the wrong type of person
If after the first date, you’re very sure that the other party is not the type of person you’re looking for, it’s time to plan your exit strategy. It’s very much like what experts teach us about investing – after buying a particular stock, it’s good to have in mind what price you want to exit at a profit or a stop loss. The following exit tips may help:
i) Exit fearlessly
I know of friends who have no qualms about rejecting someone else. Yet, there are many others who face difficulty in rejecting a person because they don’t want to hurt the other party. Let’s put it this way – if you give the other party the wrong idea that you’re interested, it’ll hurt them even more when they find out the truth next time. Many people I’ve spoken to would rather know the truth upfront rather than have their expectations falsely built up. Hence, don’t be afraid to reject someone if you need to – you’re saving them from further pain down the line. The other reason to exit fearlessly is of course to protect yourself – if you sense that the other party is up to no good.
ii) Exit graciously
Although honesty is a good practice, we should not be too brutally honest about how we feel about the other person, especially if it’s very negative. Even if you know you’re incompatible as life partners, you can always remain as friends. In a way, it also expands your personal or professional network. For example, you may end off the date by saying something neutral like, “It was nice meeting you tonight”, rather than pass a curt remark like “You’re pretty boring” or “I don’t see any future in us”. But do drop sufficient hints so that the other person knows you’re not keen for further dates, eg. “My schedule is quite full in the next few weeks”, or “At the moment, I’m too busy with my work to find time to socialise.” Always be gracious when you exit.
iii) Exit at the right timing
It’s important to keep an open mind throughout the date – the process of building rapport cannot be rushed, and you ought to tell yourself to give the other person a chance. It’s a little too abrupt and rude to end a date within minutes of seeing someone, even if you know 100% that the person is not for you. After all, it’s only an hour or so of your time, and unless you are in a big rush to do something else, it is only polite to finish the date on a pleasant note. If the other party suggests a follow-up activity after dinner such as a movie or a stroll in the park, you can then excuse yourself politely – work commitments, project deadlines and meetings with other friends are examples of gracious excuses.
Scenario 4:
You messed up the first date – big time
Many of us may have experienced bad or disastrous first dates. The fact that you’re meeting someone new makes the first date a potentially nerve-wracking experience, and it’s even so if you are relatively new in the dating game. So what can you do if you messed up the first date? Here are some tips on first date recovery:
i) Forgive and forget
Don’t be too hard on yourself! You may have spent a lot of time preparing for the first date but in the end, still did not perform as expected. Well, it is perfectly normal to feel nervous on a first date. And it’s also quite common for people to mess up their first dates, so you’re definitely not alone! There’s no point in sinking into a sea of self-guilt and blaming yourself indefinitely. On the contrary, it’s important to forgive yourself so that you can start afresh, or depending on the situation, to attempt some “damage control” or “service recovery”. By forgiving yourself, you will also keep your self-confidence intact for future dates.
ii) Learn from it
In any event good or bad, there is always something we can learn. What you should do is to look back at the experience, and see if you can pick up any pointers. Learn from your mistakes to avoid repeating them, and reinforce what you did right. With time, you’ll become much more confident and you’ll start doing more of the right things like being attentive and being your true self, and avoid fundamental mistakes such as talking too much about yourself on the first date or displaying an artificial persona.
iii) Turn it around
If you have done something wrong during the date, it’s not the end of the world! Most people are actually quite forgiving, and understand that the tension on a first date can often result in Murphy’s first law (If anything can go wrong, it will.) Simply follow up with a sincere apology, such as with a card, written note or a small gift. This simple strategy works great to turn the situation around to your advantage – you will be displaying some positive qualities of yourself in being honest and brave enough to admit your mistakes, and being sincere enough to offer a genuine apology. The other party may be impressed by your sincerity, and may well give you a second chance.
What happens beyond the first date? This section focuses on advanced dating strategies that will catapult you beyond the first date into making your dream relationship a reality.
After The First Date – What’s Next?
So, after all that preparation, you’ve finally gone for your first date. And thankfully, emerged alive. It wasn’t as bad as you thought, right? Or was it worse than your biggest nightmare? Whatever it is, at the end of the date, you should have a pretty clear idea of which of the following scenarios you fall into:
(1) You really like him/her
(2) You are not sure if you like him/her
(3) You met the wrong type of person
(4) You messed up the first date – big time
No matter which category you belong to, it’s important to know how to make the best use of the unique situation you’re in. In other words, what should you do after the first date is over? We shall take a look at each scenario in turn.
Scenario 1:
You really like him/her
Congratulations! You have potentially found your life partner. Notice that I emphasized the word potentially because you can never judge a person on a single date alone, no matter how much information is exchanged during the conversation, or how confident you are. This is akin to a candidate going for a job interview – the employers will try their best to find out about the candidate’s aptitude and attitude during the job interview, but ultimately, they will only find out the truth about the candidate’s ability and work attitude when he starts working in the company and interacting with his fellow colleagues.
But if you like him/her and you believe there’s potential for a serious relationship, that itself is already a promising start. The following are some tips on how you can proceed from here:
i) Find out more about the other party
You can do that in a few ways. First, ask her out for a few more dates so that you can converse with each other in person. In your conversation, don’t get bogged down by trivia such as movie discussions and celebrity gossip that you forget to ask about the really important areas such as life goals, values, views on family, and so on. Second, if he/she is a friend’s friend, you can easily find out more information about this person by asking.
ii) Develop a closer rapport
Developing rapport is best done by sustained communication - meaning, you don’t just talk for a day and subsequently ignore the other party for the whole of the week. Even if you’re busy with your work, you should communicate via other channels such as email, SMS, online chat. As you become more comfortable with each other, you may gradually reveal more personal information, and in the process also find out more about each other. It takes time to build a solid relationship, and developing a close rapport by regular communication will put you on the right track towards achieving that.
Scenario 2:
You are not sure if you like him/her
So, if you emerged from the first date unsure of whether you like the other party, what should you do next? I advise the following:
i) Don’t give up immediately
At my seminars, one of the all-time favourite questions that people like to ask me is, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”
Well, I strongly believe in it. But the fact is, after talking to a great number of couples, I found out that many successful relationships out there did not develop from “love at first sight”. Interestingly, their first encounter was a tepid affair, but as they went out more often over time, they gradually started to develop feelings for each other.
Some people think that if there are no sparks on the first date, it’s a foregone conclusion. But the fact is, he/she may be the life partner you’re looking for! It’s like stumbling across an unpolished stone not knowing that it’s a valuable diamond in disguise. Be patient, and don’t give up immediately.
ii) Give yourself time
In all likelihood, you’d not be able to find out everything you want to know about the other person on a first date. Often, you end up finding out very little if there’s little conversation during the date (eg. due to nervousness), or if the conversation focused on other topics.
So, to be fair to yourself and to your date, arrange follow-up dates where you can have more time to talk and find out more about each other. You can also communicate via other channels such as SMS, email and online chat. Give yourself time to know each other better before you decide if there’s potential for a serious relationship.
Scenario 3:
You met the wrong type of person
If after the first date, you’re very sure that the other party is not the type of person you’re looking for, it’s time to plan your exit strategy. It’s very much like what experts teach us about investing – after buying a particular stock, it’s good to have in mind what price you want to exit at a profit or a stop loss. The following exit tips may help:
i) Exit fearlessly
I know of friends who have no qualms about rejecting someone else. Yet, there are many others who face difficulty in rejecting a person because they don’t want to hurt the other party. Let’s put it this way – if you give the other party the wrong idea that you’re interested, it’ll hurt them even more when they find out the truth next time. Many people I’ve spoken to would rather know the truth upfront rather than have their expectations falsely built up. Hence, don’t be afraid to reject someone if you need to – you’re saving them from further pain down the line. The other reason to exit fearlessly is of course to protect yourself – if you sense that the other party is up to no good.
ii) Exit graciously
Although honesty is a good practice, we should not be too brutally honest about how we feel about the other person, especially if it’s very negative. Even if you know you’re incompatible as life partners, you can always remain as friends. In a way, it also expands your personal or professional network. For example, you may end off the date by saying something neutral like, “It was nice meeting you tonight”, rather than pass a curt remark like “You’re pretty boring” or “I don’t see any future in us”. But do drop sufficient hints so that the other person knows you’re not keen for further dates, eg. “My schedule is quite full in the next few weeks”, or “At the moment, I’m too busy with my work to find time to socialise.” Always be gracious when you exit.
iii) Exit at the right timing
It’s important to keep an open mind throughout the date – the process of building rapport cannot be rushed, and you ought to tell yourself to give the other person a chance. It’s a little too abrupt and rude to end a date within minutes of seeing someone, even if you know 100% that the person is not for you. After all, it’s only an hour or so of your time, and unless you are in a big rush to do something else, it is only polite to finish the date on a pleasant note. If the other party suggests a follow-up activity after dinner such as a movie or a stroll in the park, you can then excuse yourself politely – work commitments, project deadlines and meetings with other friends are examples of gracious excuses.
Scenario 4:
You messed up the first date – big time
Many of us may have experienced bad or disastrous first dates. The fact that you’re meeting someone new makes the first date a potentially nerve-wracking experience, and it’s even so if you are relatively new in the dating game. So what can you do if you messed up the first date? Here are some tips on first date recovery:
i) Forgive and forget
Don’t be too hard on yourself! You may have spent a lot of time preparing for the first date but in the end, still did not perform as expected. Well, it is perfectly normal to feel nervous on a first date. And it’s also quite common for people to mess up their first dates, so you’re definitely not alone! There’s no point in sinking into a sea of self-guilt and blaming yourself indefinitely. On the contrary, it’s important to forgive yourself so that you can start afresh, or depending on the situation, to attempt some “damage control” or “service recovery”. By forgiving yourself, you will also keep your self-confidence intact for future dates.
ii) Learn from it
In any event good or bad, there is always something we can learn. What you should do is to look back at the experience, and see if you can pick up any pointers. Learn from your mistakes to avoid repeating them, and reinforce what you did right. With time, you’ll become much more confident and you’ll start doing more of the right things like being attentive and being your true self, and avoid fundamental mistakes such as talking too much about yourself on the first date or displaying an artificial persona.
iii) Turn it around
If you have done something wrong during the date, it’s not the end of the world! Most people are actually quite forgiving, and understand that the tension on a first date can often result in Murphy’s first law (If anything can go wrong, it will.) Simply follow up with a sincere apology, such as with a card, written note or a small gift. This simple strategy works great to turn the situation around to your advantage – you will be displaying some positive qualities of yourself in being honest and brave enough to admit your mistakes, and being sincere enough to offer a genuine apology. The other party may be impressed by your sincerity, and may well give you a second chance.
Dating Strategies - The First Date
Introduction
According to Murphy’s law, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. You have spent so much time and effort to arrange a date with the person you like, and fumbling at your first date is the last thing you want.
In order to ensure a successful first date, Love Clinic has divided the first date into the pre-date phase, the date itself and the post-date phase, and highlighted the important points which you should take note of.
We have devised a catchy mnemonic for our first date strategies – CPR.ABC.123 - which will help you get through each stage of the first date with ease.
Ready? Let's start by looking at the first 3 steps-CPR
PRE-DATE PHASE
- Using CPR To Ensure Survival To The Next Phase
The pre-date phase refers to the period from the acceptance of the date to the actual date itself. This is the period which requires the most preparation. To ensure high survival rates to the next stage, CPR is essential.
Conversation Topics
Running dry on conversation topics and resulting in embarrassing silences is one of the last things you would want to occur on your first date. Think of possible conversation topics beforehand. These would include hobbies, sports, travel and music. Check out on the latest fashion and food, as these are topics which girls like to talk about.
Plan The Venue & Activity
Before the date, spend time to think of what you want to do with her. Suggested ideas include a simple meal for two at a café or restaurant so that more time can be spent on conversations to know each other better. Other ideas include engaging in her favourite sport (because exercises are known to pump up adrenaline levels which create a sense of euphoria) or a simple walk in the park. The rule of the thumb is to choose an activity which allows for interaction, and preferably, something which the both of you enjoy.
Whatever the activity chosen, it will be best to reserve the venue in advance. It will be good to familiarize yourself with the venue or menu beforehand so that you are more confident and decisive during the date.
Right Mindset
Have realistic expectations. By accepting an invitation from you to go out alone does not necessarily mean that the girl wants you to be her boyfriend! Hence, do not expect to hold her hand or get a kiss from this first encounter. Treat this first date as an opportunity to know each other better. Do not rush into things and see how the relationship develops from there.
THE DATE ITSELF
– Making It As Easy As ABC
If you would like your first date to be simple and easy, use the mnemonic ABC.
Activity – Do Something Memorable
To make your date remember you as “that guy” among the 1001 guys she has dated over the past week, you must do something memorable. You can consider a walk down the river bank with her, or bringing her to her favourite desert shop. Generally, you should target the activity to her interests for her to remember you.
Be Yourself
The trick to succeed on your first date is to be yourself! Do not overdress in a tuxedo just to impress the girl of your dreams. Similarly, do not attempt to flaunt your wealth when you know that your salary is only $2,000 per month. If you try too much to impress, not only will you appear clumsy and superficial in your actions, you will create a false image of deception which is detrimental to the development of a long term relationship.
Continuity
One of the main objectives of the date itself is to set the foundation for future dates. Ensure continuity by offering to foot the bill. If she is interested in you as well, she will take the hint and offer to treat you back the next time! Treating her for the first date gives you an excuse for both of you to meet for a second time. Alternatively, you can offer to take some photos during the first date and show it to her during the second date.
POST-DATE PHASE
– Using The Power Of 123 To Get Another Date
One of the important objectives for the post date phase would be to ask for a second one. You can use the numbers 123 to gauge when is a good time to ask for the next date.
1 –1 Week
Our research has shown that asking for a second date within 1 week to 10 days from the first one would be the optimal time. Anything longer than that runs the risk of the romance dying down and you may have to start everything all over again.
2 – 2 Days
Give her a call 2 days after your first time. Calling her too early may make you sound desperate. Calling her too late gives her the impression that you are not interested in her. Hence, 2 days will be the best time.
3 – 3 Tries
What happens if she rejects you for a second date? We advocate that you ask her on 3 separate occasions. If she still rejects you after you have tried 3 times, it is best to give up and move on. There is no point wasting too much time on someone who is not interested in you.
In conclusion, the mnemonic CPR ensures survival in the pre-date phase, ABC makes the date itself easy and 123 gives you the optimal time to ask for a second date in the post date phase.
According to Murphy’s law, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. You have spent so much time and effort to arrange a date with the person you like, and fumbling at your first date is the last thing you want.
In order to ensure a successful first date, Love Clinic has divided the first date into the pre-date phase, the date itself and the post-date phase, and highlighted the important points which you should take note of.
We have devised a catchy mnemonic for our first date strategies – CPR.ABC.123 - which will help you get through each stage of the first date with ease.
Ready? Let's start by looking at the first 3 steps-CPR
PRE-DATE PHASE
- Using CPR To Ensure Survival To The Next Phase
The pre-date phase refers to the period from the acceptance of the date to the actual date itself. This is the period which requires the most preparation. To ensure high survival rates to the next stage, CPR is essential.
Conversation Topics
Running dry on conversation topics and resulting in embarrassing silences is one of the last things you would want to occur on your first date. Think of possible conversation topics beforehand. These would include hobbies, sports, travel and music. Check out on the latest fashion and food, as these are topics which girls like to talk about.
Plan The Venue & Activity
Before the date, spend time to think of what you want to do with her. Suggested ideas include a simple meal for two at a café or restaurant so that more time can be spent on conversations to know each other better. Other ideas include engaging in her favourite sport (because exercises are known to pump up adrenaline levels which create a sense of euphoria) or a simple walk in the park. The rule of the thumb is to choose an activity which allows for interaction, and preferably, something which the both of you enjoy.
Whatever the activity chosen, it will be best to reserve the venue in advance. It will be good to familiarize yourself with the venue or menu beforehand so that you are more confident and decisive during the date.
Right Mindset
Have realistic expectations. By accepting an invitation from you to go out alone does not necessarily mean that the girl wants you to be her boyfriend! Hence, do not expect to hold her hand or get a kiss from this first encounter. Treat this first date as an opportunity to know each other better. Do not rush into things and see how the relationship develops from there.
THE DATE ITSELF
– Making It As Easy As ABC
If you would like your first date to be simple and easy, use the mnemonic ABC.
Activity – Do Something Memorable
To make your date remember you as “that guy” among the 1001 guys she has dated over the past week, you must do something memorable. You can consider a walk down the river bank with her, or bringing her to her favourite desert shop. Generally, you should target the activity to her interests for her to remember you.
Be Yourself
The trick to succeed on your first date is to be yourself! Do not overdress in a tuxedo just to impress the girl of your dreams. Similarly, do not attempt to flaunt your wealth when you know that your salary is only $2,000 per month. If you try too much to impress, not only will you appear clumsy and superficial in your actions, you will create a false image of deception which is detrimental to the development of a long term relationship.
Continuity
One of the main objectives of the date itself is to set the foundation for future dates. Ensure continuity by offering to foot the bill. If she is interested in you as well, she will take the hint and offer to treat you back the next time! Treating her for the first date gives you an excuse for both of you to meet for a second time. Alternatively, you can offer to take some photos during the first date and show it to her during the second date.
POST-DATE PHASE
– Using The Power Of 123 To Get Another Date
One of the important objectives for the post date phase would be to ask for a second one. You can use the numbers 123 to gauge when is a good time to ask for the next date.
1 –1 Week
Our research has shown that asking for a second date within 1 week to 10 days from the first one would be the optimal time. Anything longer than that runs the risk of the romance dying down and you may have to start everything all over again.
2 – 2 Days
Give her a call 2 days after your first time. Calling her too early may make you sound desperate. Calling her too late gives her the impression that you are not interested in her. Hence, 2 days will be the best time.
3 – 3 Tries
What happens if she rejects you for a second date? We advocate that you ask her on 3 separate occasions. If she still rejects you after you have tried 3 times, it is best to give up and move on. There is no point wasting too much time on someone who is not interested in you.
In conclusion, the mnemonic CPR ensures survival in the pre-date phase, ABC makes the date itself easy and 123 gives you the optimal time to ask for a second date in the post date phase.
Dating Strategies - PRE-DATE
When both of you just started off as acquaintances, how do you increase the chances of knowing each other better? In the pre-date period, we shall explore the channels through which acquaintances can become friends and friends become lovers.
Love At First Sight, How Do You Move On?
Finally, after months of searching, you saw that special someone who took your breath away. How can you walk straight up to her and make your presence felt? How can you get her contact number to lay the foundation for future development? Most importantly, how can you try to know her better to determine if she is the RIGHT one for you?
Making Your Presence Felt
You must have read many articles about women being attracted by alpha males. Face it. This is absolutely true. For those readers who may want a definition of “alpha males”, here goes:
Alpha male: individual in the community to whom the others follow and defer.
Alpha males are associated with attributes such as power, energy and good communication. Power includes traits such as confidence, status (both financial and social) and leadership ability. Energy encompasses physical dynamism, intellectual superiority and strong mental will power. Good communication refers to having the capability to sustain an entertaining conversation with a member of the opposite gender.
In the initial stage, there is no use acting overly humble in front of the girl you are interested in. It is time to flaunt your strong attributes in front of her, though not in an excessive manner.
In the scenario that she is alone, the task will be much easier for you. Muster all the courage you have, put on your widest smile, walk towards her and introduce yourself in your most macho voice. You can open up the conversation by asking why she is here. If you prefer not to start your conversation by asking her a question, you can give a brief description of the surroundings. For example, you can say something like, “Wow, the music here is pretty cool!” and see how she responds from there.
If she is with a big group of friends, the onus would be on you to make yourself attractive, not only to her, but also to her group of friends! This may sound difficult, but after a few tries, you will be able to do so with breeze. Usually the entire group has something in common. Hence, you can start by asking where they come from, their occupation etc… Do not focus all your conversation solely on one person. Try tackling them as a group initially and slowly move your attention to the lady of your choice.
Mix and Match – Communication Permutations
You may have played the game “Mix and Match” when you were a child. In the game, you will need to try different combinations and permutations to get a picture you desire. The same goes for leaving a deep impression on your lady. You will need to try different conversation topics until you hit something in common with her.
Girls are generally interested in shopping, food and TV. You can try your luck on these conversation starters. If you fail to have anything in common with her, try talking to her about sports, the arts or pets. If all else fails, you can try the “History taking” method devised by Love Clinic. These include:
i) Current History: Events happening to her for these few days
ii) Past History: Her past education, work.
iii) Social History: Her occupation, favourite pastime, countries she has visited.
Take note of her facial expression as you go through these topics with her. The moment you see a sparkle in her eye, it means that you have hit the right conversation topic! Encourage her to talk more about that as far as possible while you listen actively on what she has to say. Try to create as many common grounds as possible during the conversation.
You are now ready to proceed to the next level.
Love At First Sight, How Do You Move On?
Finally, after months of searching, you saw that special someone who took your breath away. How can you walk straight up to her and make your presence felt? How can you get her contact number to lay the foundation for future development? Most importantly, how can you try to know her better to determine if she is the RIGHT one for you?
Making Your Presence Felt
You must have read many articles about women being attracted by alpha males. Face it. This is absolutely true. For those readers who may want a definition of “alpha males”, here goes:
Alpha male: individual in the community to whom the others follow and defer.
Alpha males are associated with attributes such as power, energy and good communication. Power includes traits such as confidence, status (both financial and social) and leadership ability. Energy encompasses physical dynamism, intellectual superiority and strong mental will power. Good communication refers to having the capability to sustain an entertaining conversation with a member of the opposite gender.
In the initial stage, there is no use acting overly humble in front of the girl you are interested in. It is time to flaunt your strong attributes in front of her, though not in an excessive manner.
In the scenario that she is alone, the task will be much easier for you. Muster all the courage you have, put on your widest smile, walk towards her and introduce yourself in your most macho voice. You can open up the conversation by asking why she is here. If you prefer not to start your conversation by asking her a question, you can give a brief description of the surroundings. For example, you can say something like, “Wow, the music here is pretty cool!” and see how she responds from there.
If she is with a big group of friends, the onus would be on you to make yourself attractive, not only to her, but also to her group of friends! This may sound difficult, but after a few tries, you will be able to do so with breeze. Usually the entire group has something in common. Hence, you can start by asking where they come from, their occupation etc… Do not focus all your conversation solely on one person. Try tackling them as a group initially and slowly move your attention to the lady of your choice.
Mix and Match – Communication Permutations
You may have played the game “Mix and Match” when you were a child. In the game, you will need to try different combinations and permutations to get a picture you desire. The same goes for leaving a deep impression on your lady. You will need to try different conversation topics until you hit something in common with her.
Girls are generally interested in shopping, food and TV. You can try your luck on these conversation starters. If you fail to have anything in common with her, try talking to her about sports, the arts or pets. If all else fails, you can try the “History taking” method devised by Love Clinic. These include:
i) Current History: Events happening to her for these few days
ii) Past History: Her past education, work.
iii) Social History: Her occupation, favourite pastime, countries she has visited.
Take note of her facial expression as you go through these topics with her. The moment you see a sparkle in her eye, it means that you have hit the right conversation topic! Encourage her to talk more about that as far as possible while you listen actively on what she has to say. Try to create as many common grounds as possible during the conversation.
You are now ready to proceed to the next level.
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